The only place you need for surrogacy.

From thought to finish.

"Having a baby through surrogacy was never in my plans, but then I got cancer. The biggest surprise of my life is how rewarding the whole experience was. I love our surrogate and she will always be a part of our life."

"I felt so privileged to be able to do this, and in a way, I felt kind of like a voyeur into the happiness of another couple – but also I felt in a very real way that I had made their happiness possible.”

"It's hard to put into words the feeling you get from helping another family come to life."

"While I’ve still had to process and grieve the fact that I possibly won’t ever be able to carry my own pregnancy, I’m just so incredibly grateful that surrogacy is even an option."

"Looking back now, we can say that meeting Ashley and her family was one of the most important encounters in our life. She made our biggest dream come true and we cannot be any happier. "

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The Biggest Ask offers everything surrogates and intended parents need for their surrogacy journey.

With us, you can:

Learn:

We offer a free on-line guide about how a typical surrogacy journey works in the USA
We offer free weekly support calls for intended parents and surrogates, no matter where they are at on their journey
We feature blogs and spotlights on surrogates and intended parents

Match:

Ready to find your match? Our philosophy is that wonderful matches happen when intended parents share their story for surrogacy. We invite intended parents to share their story and we invite surrogates to check out their profiles.

Manage:

Once you find your match, ensure that your journey is as smooth and fulfilling as possible by joining our surrogacy program, where we guide and support you every step of the way.

Why should you join The Biggest Ask community?

Embarking on a surrogacy journey from scratch is incredibly intimidating. Don’t let fear drive any of your decisions. Learn everything about surrogacy from us – The Biggest Ask – your source for unbiased and well-balanced information about surrogacy.

When you join The Biggest Ask you immediately:

Meet some of our intended parents looking for a surrogate:

Heather and Ben

Our Story Hi! We’re Wexler’s parents, Heather & Ben. An east coast Jersey girl and west coast surfer boy who met at the restaurant Ben

Aostoff May 22, 2023

Malcolm and Annie

About Us Hello, my name is Malcolm & I’d like to introduce you to my wonderful wife, Annie, and our life together. We’re both 40

Aostoff April 29, 2023

Laura

My Story As a single parent to be, I have tried to fulfill my dreams to be a mom for 10 years. I started out

Aostoff April 29, 2023

Luis and Domi

Our Story We are a same sex couple who are looking to match with a surrogate. We started this journey in 2019 and after some

Aostoff April 5, 2023

Read some stories from our community:

How Do You Detach Yourself from a Surrogacy Journey?

Is there a name for this: trying to detach yourself from the family that you just had a baby for even through this is your

Aostoff February 3, 2023

You Never Know What Someone is Going Through

You never know what someone is going through. Isn’t that the truth? Sometimes it’s the kindest, most beautiful positive personality in the room who is

Aostoff October 1, 2022

What Surrogacy Means to Me

After a long night of labor and a herculean push I became a mother. The joy that I felt after they placed my child on

Tara December 13, 2021

Follow us on Instagram and see why we are the most trusted name in surrogacy

thebiggestask

That feeling when you're rushing out the door to a

That feeling when you're rushing out the door to attend a wedding, but your son is having a total meltdown and wants to be cuddled by you but also wants to eat mac n' cheese, but only if it's being spoon-fed by his dad?
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What is that feeling for me? Gratitude.
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I'm not saying parents should not complain about feeling overwhelmed. But the moments where my child is being, well, a child, are the moments I dreamt of when I was wishing for my boys. When I came home from the hospital without a baby and was suddenly surrounding by a society where everyone had babies. I still remember those moments of grief, loneliness and hopelessness and even though I hope that I never feel them again, I am grateful that they help me appreciate my current blessings even when they might not look like ones to others.
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#surrogacy #surrogacyjourney #surrogacyislove #surrogate #gestationalcarrier #intendedparents #intendedmother #intendedfather #surrogatemother #surrogacyrocks #proudsurrogate #surrogatebaby #surrolife #surromama #surrobaby #rainbowbaby #birthstory #infertility #ivf #ivfjourney #ivfcommunity #ivftribe #infertilityawareness #trauma #cancersucks #hysterectomy #preeclampsia #postpartum #pregnancy #momlife

STRENGTH. It's a big word that comes up when talki

STRENGTH. It's a big word that comes up when talking about surrogacy. Whether you are the surrogate herself, the mom going through surrogacy or a dad going through surrogacy. It takes an insane amount of strength. 💪
We just wanted to remind you all how strong you are and how much we are inspired by each and every one of you! 🥺 We see you, we stand by you, we support you!

#surrogacy #surrogacyjourney #surrogacyislove #surrogate #gestationalcarrier #intendedparents #intendedmother #intendedfather #surrogatemother #surrogacyrocks #proudsurrogate #surrogatebaby #surrolife #surromama #surrobaby #rainbowbaby #birthstory #infertility #ivf #ivfjourney #ivfcommunity #ivftribe #infertilityawareness #trauma #cancersucks #hysterectomy #preeclampsia #postpartum #pregnancy #momlife

Surrogates may go through a range of emotions afte

Surrogates may go through a range of emotions after delivering their surro baby (and no, none of these feelings include wanting to keep said baby)!! The feelings are more of feeling an abrupt end to such a beautiful, long journey.
Your time, your mind, your body are so invested in this journey for so long and then one day - - it's all over. You completed the journey, you helped bring your IPs beautiful rainbow baby into their arms........now what?

You felt like such a KEY person in this journey for so long, and its normal to now feel a little tossed to the side once baby is here and you aren't that key person anymore. But remember, without you, that baby wouldn't be here. So you are still that KEY person, and always will be. The communication just might have died down just a little and the attention is now on that perfect little babe.

These feelings are all valid. They won't last forever. This is a new normal to adjust to. And you did an incredible thing. Remember that. ❤️

#surrogacy #surrogacyjourney #surrogacyadventure #surrogacyislove #surrogacyisnotacrime #gestationalsurrogate #gestationalcarrier #surrogacysupport #surrogacyawareness #surrogacystories #surrogacycommunity

During a surrogacy journey, there will be a WIDE r

During a surrogacy journey, there will be a WIDE range of feelings, thoughts, and emotions that you will go through on a daily basis, and we are here to tell you that every single one of those feelings, thoughts, and emotions ARE TOTALLY OKAY. ❤️
It is OKAY to be happy and sad. It is OKAY to be scared and excited. It is all OKAY. You have to give yourself permission to go through it all in order to be truthful to yourself. There is no need to feel guilty for positive or negative thoughts. A surrogacy journey is quite intense on both sides (surrogate & IP) and you're HUMAN!

Are you giving yourself permission to feel all the feels? 😘

#surrogacy #surrogacyjourney #surrogacyislove #surrogate #gestationalcarrier #intendedparents #intendedmother #intendedfather #surrogatemother #surrogacyrocks #proudsurrogate #surrogatebaby #surrolife #surromama #surrobaby #rainbowbaby #birthstory #infertility #ivf #ivfjourney #ivfcommunity #ivftribe #infertilityawareness #trauma #cancersucks #hysterectomy #preeclampsia #postpartum #pregnancy #momlife

Heather & Ben have always known they wanted a fami

Heather & Ben have always known they wanted a family together, and with both of them being only children, their dream was always to have 2 kids so they had playmates for life. Heather was diagnosed with Diminished Ovarian Reserve and tried several attempts at getting pregnant herself. Ultimately, they ended up pursuing surrogacy. A beautiful surrogacy journey and a wonderful surrogate led them to their little boy who is their entire world. They are looking for a surrogate to help them fulfill their dream of having one more sweet bundle of joy.
Please read through their story carefully to see if you'd be a good match! Swipe to read!✨ If you are interested in reaching out to Heather & Ben, you can send them a message directly @hmdubbs

Even if you can't be their surrogate, you can still help!❤️ Please share this post to be entered into our giveaway for a $25 Amazon gift card! *Please note, gift cards will be sent over the weekend*

To enter the giveaway, do the following:
1. Share this post and TAG @thebiggestask
2. Comment on this post with the hashtag #thebiggestask and some words of encouragement
3. Make sure you do #1 and #2 by tomorrow, June 6th by 11am central

#surrogacy #surrogacyjourney #surrogacyislove #surrogate #gestationalcarrier #intendedparents #intendedmother #intendedfather #surrogatemother #surrogacyrocks #proudsurrogate #surrogatebaby #surrolife #surromama #surrobaby #rainbowbaby #birthstory #infertility #ivf #ivfjourney #ivfcommunity #ivftribe #infertilityawareness #trauma

If you look up the word "surrogate" in the diction

If you look up the word "surrogate" in the dictionary, you see that the first definition that comes up is "a substitute". There's no substituting what these women have done for me. They aren't simply filling in for me. They both decided to make an incredible commitment - one that takes incredible physical and mental strength. It's something that I could never do.
For them, surrogacy was a powerful way to make an incredible difference in the world - my world, my husband's world, and our families world and everyone else who will ever meet our children. Their gift will live on beyond our lifetimes. How incredible of a person do you have to be to do that?

#surrogacy #surrogacyjourney #surrogacyislove #surrogate #gestationalcarrier #intendedparents #intendedmother #intendedfather #surrogatemother #surrogacyrocks #proudsurrogate #surrogatebaby #surrolife #surromama #surrobaby #rainbowbaby #birthstory #infertility #ivf #ivfjourney #ivfcommunity #ivftribe #infertilityawareness #trauma #cancersucks #hysterectomy #preeclampsia #postpartum #pregnancy #momlife

Becoming a surrogate is a very personal decision a

Becoming a surrogate is a very personal decision and women choose to become surrogates for many different reasons. For this post, we put together SOME of the reasons/motivations that women pursue becoming surrogates!❤️
What was your reason/motivation?👇

#surrogacy #surrogacyjourney #surrogacyadventure #surrogacyislove #surrogacyisnotacrime #gestationalsurrogate #gestationalcarrier #surrogacysupport #surrogacyawareness #surrogacystories #surrogacycommunity

One of the reasons why I am so passionate about su

One of the reasons why I am so passionate about surrogacy is because I know from personal experience that pregnancy can be so hard. It can steal your life away from you. And it can kill you. Asking another woman to bear the risk that the pregnancy might harm her is no small task. In fact, it is the biggest one.
When I receive comments about how I am exploiting another woman to go through the pain of being pregnant, I hear them. And a part of me understands what they are saying. Nothing would bring me more pain and guilt than seeing another woman suffer tremendously so that I could have a child.

So how do I reconcile my choice to pursue surrogacy with my admission that pregnancies can be unsafe? Well, for one surrogates need to have been pregnant with their own child before becoming surrogates for others to show that they can have relatively easy pregnancies. Although one easy pregnancy doesn't mean that your future pregnancies will be easy, but it does increase the chances. For another, surrogates are women who want to do this for intended parents. No, there is no coercion, there is no financial desperation - since many agencies ensure that their surrogates are not on financial assistance. And finally, we prioritize our surrogate's health before anything - even before our unborn child. These three things make me feel assured in my decision to pursue surrogacy. Having these three things in place allows me to celebrate and honor the gift that surrogacy is.❤️

#surrogacy #surrogacyjourney #surrogacyislove #surrogate #gestationalcarrier #intendedparents #intendedmother #intendedfather #surrogatemother #surrogacyrocks #proudsurrogate #surrogatebaby #surrolife #surromama #surrobaby #rainbowbaby #birthstory #infertility #ivf #ivfjourney #ivfcommunity #ivftribe #infertilityawareness #trauma #cancersucks #hysterectomy #preeclampsia #postpartum #pregnancy #momlife

Communication can be a huge part of any surrogacy

Communication can be a huge part of any surrogacy relationship (especially for those that want a close relationship). Sometimes communication comes easily between surrogacy partners and sometimes it takes a little more work and can take time to organically grow.
The best thing you can do is be open and honest from the beginning about the type of communication you're hoping for during the surrogacy journey and match with a surrogacy partner that has the same wishes. And if that communication ever falters or becomes difficult its important to be honest about how you are feeling about that so that changes can hopefully be made and the relationship doesn't suffer.

It is important to remember that some steps throughout the journey may be extra difficult for intended parents and their hearts may be guarded because of past traumas or experiences they have encountered and may cause them to be a little quieter or reserved and on the flip side, surrogates may be have days or weeks where they are feeling nervous, busy, whatever it may be and to remember to give each side grace during those times. But with honest and open communication any feelings of resentment towards those moments can be squashed if you are just open about how you're feeling and that you may need a little space. That way your surrogacy partner doesn't feel ignored, hurt, etc.

What helped you with and your surrogacy partner with better communication throughout the journey? Or what could have been done to make it better? 👇

#surrogacy #surrogacyjourney #surrogacyislove #surrogate #gestationalcarrier #intendedparents #intendedmother #intendedfather #surrogatemother #surrogacyrocks #proudsurrogate #surrogatebaby #surrolife #surromama #surrobaby #rainbowbaby #birthstory #infertility #ivf #ivfjourney #ivfcommunity #ivftribe #infertilityawareness #trauma #cancersucks #hysterectomy #preeclampsia #postpartum #pregnancy #momlife

Surrogacy looks different on everyone ❤️ Feeli

Surrogacy looks different on everyone ❤️ Feeling so blessed that Enzo gets to see Jennifer @stlsurrogacy_journey while growing up ❤️ #surrogacy

Recently @khloekardashian described the birth of h

Recently @khloekardashian described the birth of her son born via surrogacy as a "transactional experience". It's great that Khloe is being honest about her experience and her feelings about her surrogacy journey and it brings up an important aspect of surrogacy that I wanted to talk about. Just because you sign up for a surrogacy journey doesn't automatically make it a beautiful and fulfilling experience. Just like everything meaningful in your life, you have to put in work. You have to decide that your surrogacy journey is a priority. You have to be thoughtful of your surrogacy partner and you have to make commitments and show up. You have to decide that surrogacy is going to be a beautiful experience for YOU. Then you have to work at it.

How many meaningful relationships do you have that come without significant commitment and sacrifice on your end? Probably none. There might not be any norms about how to treat your surrogacy partner out there, but the same underlying principles still apply. Putting in the work, love and commitment is what makes any relationship beautiful.

If you treat your surrogacy as a transaction, then it will feel like a transaction. If you treat it like the blessing that it is, well then it will start feeling like a blessing.

#surrogacy #surrogacyjourney #surrogacyislove #surrogate #gestationalcarrier #intendedparents #intendedmother #intendedfather #surrogatemother #surrogacyrocks #proudsurrogate #surrogatebaby #surrolife #surromama #surrobaby #rainbowbaby #birthstory #infertility #ivf #ivfjourney #ivfcommunity #ivftribe #infertilityawareness #trauma #cancersucks #hysterectomy #preeclampsia #postpartum #pregnancy #momlife

There is a lot to consider and accomplish prior to

There is a lot to consider and accomplish prior to making the jump to start searching for a surrogate. For this post, we put together 5 of those important considerations. 💛
We promise it is well worth waiting until you have these things crossed off your checklist before searching - it makes the search for a surrogate much easier and quicker!

#menhavingbabies #lovemakesafamily #gayfamily #lgbtfamily #twodads #cancersurvivor #cancerwarrior #ovariancancer #heartdisease #autoimmunewarrior #hysterectomy #mrkh #fibroids #ashermanssyndrome #preeclampsia #infantloss #birthtrauma #stillbirth #stillborn #pregnancyloss #miscarriagesurvivor #babyloss #unexplainedinfertility #pcos #ttctribe #infertilitywarrior #infertilityjourney #ivfjourney #ttccommunity #surrogacy

There are so many ways to include your intended pa

There are so many ways to include your intended parents in their journey to a baby during a surrogacy journey. These are just a few ideas!
It is always so special and so appreciated to incorporate your intended parents in the journey - they have been through so much to get to this point and they are already missing so much of THEIR pregnancy. So, finding small ways to help them feel included is really the least we can do.

Think about what you'd want to know about your pregnancy - update them about every little detail, hiccup, kick, bump pictures, appointments, cravings, etc. It only takes a couple seconds and it means the world. ❤️

Other ways to include them:
- @bondtouch bracelets so they can get a little vibrate on their arm whenever baby is wiggling around
- heartbeat teddy bears or other heartbeat items

Tell us in the comments how you kept your IPs included throughout the journey!👇

Our surrogate support calls quickly became the hig

Our surrogate support calls quickly became the highlight of my week after we started doing them. It never ceases to amaze me how much support and love we receive from everyone on the calls, no matter what you're going through, this group of women really SHOWS UP. What is better than women lifting up other women? 👏
If you have been nervous about joining - I highly recommend hopping on a call one week, you don't even have to say a word if you don't want to, just listen and feel the vibe.

We talk about everything - no surrogacy topic off-limits and the support you will feel afterwards might just bring you to tears! I either laugh so hard the entire call or cry happy tears, it is just truly such a beautiful safe space and we'd love to have you! ❤️

If you are interested in joining us - click the link in our bio!

#surrogacy #surrogacyjourney #surrogacyadventure #surrogacyislove #surrogacyisnotacrime #gestationalsurrogate #gestationalcarrier #surrogacysupport #surrogacyawareness #surrogacystories #surrogacycommunity #surrogacy #surrogacyjourney #surrogacyislove #surrogate #gestationalcarrier #intendedparents #intendedmother #intendedfather #surrogatemother #surrogacyrocks #proudsurrogate #surrogatebaby #surrolife #surromama #surrobaby #rainbowbaby #birthstory #infertility #ivf

We posted a question box quite awhile back asking

We posted a question box quite awhile back asking intended parents to tell us three words they would use to describe their surrogate. It was so uplifting to see all the words IPs used, you can just see the love, the appreciation, and the closeness in these words. 😭😍
These people oftentimes start as strangers and this journey brings them to become close friends or family most times. Surrogacy is just so damn beautiful. 🤩

#surrogacy #surrogacyjourney #surrogacyislove #surrogate #gestationalcarrier #intendedparents #intendedmother #intendedfather #surrogatemother #surrogacyrocks #proudsurrogate #surrogatebaby #surrolife #surromama #surrobaby #rainbowbaby #birthstory #infertility #ivf #ivfjourney #ivfcommunity #ivftribe #infertilityawareness #trauma #cancersucks #hysterectomy #preeclampsia #postpartum #pregnancy #momlife

There is an underlying assumption that pregnancy i

There is an underlying assumption that pregnancy is easy, because most women were born with the ability to carry and birth children. Just because women can get pregnant, doesn't mean that it's easy or even possible. What we fail to learn in school is that pregnancy is hard for all women and harder for some than for others.
Although pregnancy is such a unique part of a woman's life - it is not everything. When I lost Luca, I lost faith in my body. Why did she not do what she was supposed to do? What would happen next? It took me a while to build faith in her again. Now, after a 3 mile run, I take a moment to be grateful that I can still run. That my body has given me this chance to express myself and my perseverance through exercise.

So if you're struggling with pregnancy and are upset with your body for not performing the way you learned she always would, I understand why you might be mad at her. But perhaps take a moment to appreciate everything she has done for you. Yes, pregnancy is a gift, but it's not the only gift.

#lgbtfamily #twodads #cancersurvivor #cancerwarrior #ovariancancer #heartdisease #autoimmunewarrior #hysterectomy #mrkh #fibroids #ashermanssyndrome #preeclampsia #infantloss #birthtrauma #stillbirth #stillborn #pregnancyloss #miscarriagesurvivor #babyloss #unexplainedinfertility #pcos #ttctribe #infertilitywarrior #infertilityjourney #ivfjourney #ttccommunity #surrogacy

We are normalizing surrogacy as an option to build

We are normalizing surrogacy as an option to build families - one educational post, one blog, one match, one voice at a time. As a community, we are working so hard to normalize surrogacy, and we still have a long way to go! But we are slowly but surely changing the way others view surrogacy and we won't stop there. Surrogacy may not always be easy, it may sometimes be the last option someone has to start a family, but surrogacy is incredibly beautiful and we just hope that we can show the world that! ❤️
Thank you all for being apart of our little surrogacy community. We love and appreciate every single one of you who support what we do here at The Biggest Ask.🥺

#surrogacy #surrogacyjourney #surrogacyislove #surrogate #gestationalcarrier #intendedparents #intendedmother #intendedfather #surrogatemother #surrogacyrocks #proudsurrogate #surrogatebaby #surrolife #surromama #surrobaby #rainbowbaby #birthstory #infertility #ivf #ivfjourney #ivfcommunity #ivftribe #infertilityawareness #trauma #cancersucks #hysterectomy #preeclampsia #postpartum #pregnancy #momlife

Chromosomal abnormalities account for 70% of misca

Chromosomal abnormalities account for 70% of miscarriages and first trimester losses. There's nothing you can do to change the chromosomal construction of any embryo. Even though chromosomal testing is available, these tests are FAR from accurate. My instagram feed is filled with failed transfers of tested normal embryos (and there's a controversy within the medical community about their efficacy).
We often become surrogates because we have had easy pregnancies. When we become surrogates, we enter into this extremely high pressure role of getting pregnant and carrying someone else's baby. When a miscarriage, failed embryo or stillbirth occurs, it hits us different than it would for our own baby. It's a painful experience, but a different pain. All of a sudden, we feel like we have failed at our "job". We failed at our calling in this journey because our body didn't behave the way that it had in the past or the way that we understand it to work.

When I was pregnant with my surro twins, I had a big scare at about 8 weeks pregnant. I started feeling slight cramps and was bleeding - a lot. I instantly fell to the floor and sobbed thinking I had lost the babies. My first thought and first thing I said to my wife was, "how will I tell their dads that I lost them?" I couldn't think straight. I was feeling guilt, questioning what I had done wrong. Luckily, we found out it was common with implantation with IVF/embryo transfers for that bleeding to occur. I just wish I had known it was common beforehand.

It's crucial to remember that IVF is a different ballgame than conceiving naturally and with your own embryos. Also remember that your worth as a surrogate isn't in your ability to carry, it's the decision that you made to commit your life, body and soul to carry a child.

xo, <a class='bp-suggestions-mention' href='https://thebiggestask.com/members/surrogacyofhope/' rel='nofollow'>@surrogacyofhope</a>

#surrogacy #embryotransfer #intendedparents #gestationalcarrier

There is a lot to consider prior to making the dec

There is a lot to consider prior to making the decision to become a surrogate. For this post, we put together 5 of those important considerations. 💛
Have you ever thought about being a surrogate? If you are a surrogate, did you consider all of these things before you made your decision? 👇

#surrogacy #surrogacyjourney #surrogacyislove #surrogate #gestationalcarrier #intendedparents #intendedmother #intendedfather #surrogatemother #surrogacyrocks #proudsurrogate #surrogatebaby #surrolife #surromama #surrobaby #rainbowbaby #birthstory #infertility #ivf #ivfjourney #ivfcommunity #ivftribe #infertilityawareness #trauma #cancersucks #hysterectomy #preeclampsia #postpartum #pregnancy #momlife

If you're wondering if you are in the right spot i

If you're wondering if you are in the right spot in your surrogacy journey to join our calls - you are! Over the past year and a half, we have had all kinds of people join - all in different parts of their journeys. Some decided the day before that surrogacy might be something they wanted to pursue and they joined to ask where to start, while others just welcomed their baby via surrogacy the week before.
Swipe to read just *some* of the topics we discuss. And please feel free to join anytime 🙂 Link in bio to register and receive the zoom link.

#cancersurvivor #cancerwarrior #ovariancancer #heartdisease #autoimmunewarrior #hysterectomy #mrkh #fibroids #ashermanssyndrome #preeclampsia #infantloss #birthtrauma #stillbirth #stillborn #pregnancyloss #miscarriagesurvivor #babyloss #unexplainedinfertility #pcos #ttctribe #infertilitywarrior #infertilityjourney #ivfjourney #ttccommunity #menhavingbabies #lovemakesafamily #gayfamily #lgbtfamily #twodads #surrogacy

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About The Biggest Ask

The Biggest Ask is a website dedicated to educating anyone interested in gestational surrogacy in the USA.

Have a question or a suggestion?

Please feel free to reach out to us at hello@thebiggestask.com