Celebrating Pregnancy Milestones With My Intended Parents

*Before I tell my surrogacy journey, I want to start off by saying that sometimes I say “we” when talking about doing certain things. In those instances, I am referring to my wonderful and supportive wife, who was with me every step of the way. Okay, now to the good stuff!

I knew right away when I matched with a couple from Switzerland that I was going to do my absolute best to keep them included in every detail of this life changing process.

When I found out that I was pregnant after the first transfer, I created a letter board that said “Your greatest adventure begins in 9 months” with the positive pregnancy test underneath. I video-called my IPs (short for Intended Parents) to announce my pregnancy to them. Seeing the IPs flood with emotion when they read my sign and connected what I was telling them was PRICELESS. We cried, they cried; it was really a beautiful moment to experience with them.

My heart ached knowing the IPs weren’t going to be here to experience all the moments, like feeling the first kicks and seeing my bump grow each day.

I would do my best to leave no detail untold, knowing I wanted them to feel as much a part of the process as possible from a zillion miles away.

We got extremely lucky that our IPs wanted to be as involved in our lives as we were going to be in theirs. Not only did we keep constant communication with small and big updates via a chat app, but I also created an Instagram specifically for the surrogacy journey. It was a blog/journal to keep my IPs, their family and friends, and our family and friends included in our journey, and something for us to look back on. I posted and wrote about everything related to the surro journey.

Not too long after finding out I was pregnant, we were able to go in for an ultrasound to find out if my IPs’ dream of having twins came true. We had an extremely supportive and inclusive clinic that allowed my wife to video chat with our IPs during the ultrasound. We got to see, together, that there were not one, but TWO healthy babies with STRONG heartbeats.

Not too long after finding out I was pregnant, we were able to go in for an ultrasound to find out if my IPs’ dream of having twins came true. We had an extremely supportive and inclusive clinic that allowed my wife to video chat with our IPs during the ultrasound. We got to see, together, that there were not one, but TWO healthy babies with STRONG heartbeats.

I would send the IPs bump updates every couple of days to show them how much I and the twins were growing. They always loved seeing the changes in my belly size, and I loved seeing their response to my bump updates.

As we awaited the ever-anticipated gender ultrasound, we took guesses on the twins’ genders and had fun dreaming of the possibilities together. One of the IFs (short for intended father) had a dream that they would have two baby boys, which my wife agreed with, and I and the other IF guessed they would have one girl and one boy! We were again able to video chat with our IPs during the ultrasound, and we found out that both babies were extremely healthy, and there would be one boy and one girl. I think the entire room was just flooded with amazement that not only did our IPs get their dream of having twins on the first try, but that they were also going to have a boy and a girl! Emotions were high that day, to say the least.

As the pregnancy went on, we shared details of every appointment, which our IPs always attended virtually. We video chatted quite often just to “hang out” and talk, and they would show us baby clothes and things they had gotten for the twins. We really became family very quickly.

My wife would record my belly anytime the twins kicked or moved around and send it to their papas so they could see all the movement, even if it wasn’t that noticeable on camera. We told them about every little kick, every craving, and every pregnancy detail. We really wanted to make sure they were included in every part of their pregnancy.

Our IPs had flights booked to arrive a few weeks before the twins’ due date so that they could help me out around the house, since it was going to be much harder for me to do things with two babies on the way. But the twins had other ideas. At 32 weeks 6 days, I started having back contractions and figured I had better go to the hospital and make sure everything was okay. After our doctors tried everything they could to stop my early labor, they decided the babies were coming, like it or not.

The stress and heartbreak I felt for my IPs at the fact that they wouldn’t be able to make it in time for their babies’ birth was really hard on me.

It was the middle of the night for them, and they woke up to a zillion missed calls from us trying to get them on the phone to tell them their twins were coming NOW. Thankfully, about 30 seconds after I walked into the room to start the C-section, they woke up and called back! My wife was able to inform them of everything and tell them they should stay awake for us to call to introduce them to their perfect girl and boy.

Needless to say, it was a long night for our IPs, who were trying to book a flight to arrive much sooner than expected. What a whirlwind! Thankfully, they were able to arrive a day after the twins were born, and my wife and I introduced them to their beautiful babies. It was a wildly beautiful moment for all of us.

After the birth, we invited our IPs to stay with us for the few months they would be in the U.S. It was amazing to see them become dads and to be a part of that time with them and their perfect twins.

Now, we keep in touch almost daily and they share all the details of the twins growing up. We have pictures and videos of all their milestones outside the surro journey. They shared with us the twins’ first fallen teeth, first time sleeping through the night, and first steps. We couldn’t be more thankful that they choose to share these moments with us.