Eboni lives in Central Valley, California and delivered a baby boy this past October. Eboni has three children and is a licensed hair stylist in Modesto.
Q: Please describe your relationship with the IPs during the surrogacy journey.
A: My relationship with my international couple was frequent. This impressed me because they reside in China therefore I assumed the communication would not be as much. Boy was I wrong! Although it was mainly through messaging, they were very involved in knowing any and all details about my pregnancy and made sure they checked in to see how I was feeling. They are extremely thoughtful.
Q: What did your children think about your surrogacy journey?
A: My children were confused at first but once I explained to them that not all women can conceive and grow children on their own, they were not only sympathetic but became excited about the opportunity to help someone in need. They loved watching the baby grow and were always so fascinated with witnessing how active our belly buddy was during the time I carried him. They were so very supportive.
Q: Is there anything you would change if you had to do it all over again?
A: I plan to do this again. I love having the opportunity to assist aspiring parents in making their dreams for a family come true. There is nothing that I would change about my journey, however, next time I think I would like to help an American family. Not that the cultural differences were a challenge, but because I am curious to see how different sharing the same culture and language would be. Would it enhance my surrogacy experience or not? This is the type of question I look forward to exploring.
Eboni’s Advice to Surrogates
“The only advice for women considering being a surrogate is to make sure the couple or IP you chose is really compatible with your personality and someone that you “click with”. It is so important to be on one accord with the desires and expectations you both have and to be able to communicate effortlessly long term.”
Eboni’s Advice to IPs
“My advice to IPs is to (1) try not to be transactional in your dealings with your surrogate; unless that is what you and your surrogate want. Instead, try to be affectionate and thoughtful towards her. She is doing something so selfless and a little concern goes a long way, (2) Even after your baby is born and you are back home, try to still check in on your surrogate. Ask how she is feeling and share those adorable photos of the new beautiful gift she has given you. All women are different so I cannot speak for every surrogate but if she is a woman who values relationships and likes to communicate, then she will most certainly appreciate these meaningful gestures that display love and appreciation.”