Heather and Ben

Our Story

Hi! We’re Wexler’s parents, Heather & Ben. An east coast Jersey girl and west coast surfer boy who met at the restaurant Ben was running in Savannah 8 years ago. We grew from acquaintances to dating to being married almost 4 years now, to being blessed with our miracle baby boy last August via an incredible surrogate and now friend who has left the biggest imprint on our hearts. Our journey has taught us that our own meaning of family is the village that lifts us up, brings us closer, and makes us stronger. And of course, our lives wouldn’t be full without our cockapoo pups, Penelope and Teddy by our sides.

Our Past & Hope for the Future 

We knew for almost as long as we’ve been together that we wanted a family together. Both of us only children, having 2 kiddos has been our dream. In August 2019 shortly after getting married and confirming through medical work up that a natural conception would be much more difficult because of Heather’s diagnosis of Diminished Ovarian Reserve (low AMH), we found our amazing RE and began to use ART to try to conceive. Our path had a rocky start after an IUI led to Heather’s hospitalization from Endometritis. But once recovered, we started our first round of IVF in February 2020. A fresh embryo transfer resulted in pregnancy and subsequent miscarriage at 7.5 weeks in the early months of the pandemic. When some Covid restrictions began to lift, we began a second egg retrieval in July 2020, and learned at that time that Heather’s endometrial lining had become insufficient and was not adequate for good chance of success with an embryo transfer.

The remainder of 2020 included another cancelled transfer cycle, and a failed embryo transfer at the end of the year. We knew at that point that after our RE mentioned that surrogacy may give us the greatest chance at bringing home our baby, that it was a path we should consider. By May 2021, we were matched with a beautiful soul who became our GC and carried our son to term, giving birth to him in August 2022.

Our little boy is our entire world and fills our hearts with more joy than we ever imagined was possible. He is our greatest gift, teaching us so much about ourselves and loving so unconditionally. All we can hope for is to be able to give him the gift of a sibling and playmate for life. We can’t wait to meet the selfless and kindhearted woman who is looking for an extended family in us and as our GC will help us complete our family.

About Heather

I grew up in the suburbs of New Jersey, an only child to incredible parents who were both elementary school teachers. They were loving, patient and supportive of my goals and dreams. Creativity and art were always my passion, and ironically I ended up with a degree in finance while always looking for ways to fill my artistic void on the side. I took a major leap of faith, quitting a fast paced job in commodities in NYC, and moving to Savannah to go back to school for Interior Design. I didn’t move to the south thinking Savannah would be my forever home, but I met Ben and could envision our life together here. So much so, that my retired parents decided to move to Savannah as well. Our family may be small, but we are mighty, and being together often is our happy place.

About Ben

The ocean was always home for me. I spent the majority of my childhood in Southern California within a mile or 2 from the ocean and it was where I always found peace and happiness. It was instilled in me from a young age to work hard for what I wanted, and that showed through my love for playing sports, particularly basketball. I went on the play basketball in college, where I studied public relations. But back home one summer I met some folks who were opening up a new and exciting restaurant concept. I took a chance and worked with them for the good part of a decade, and I realized then I had a knack for organizing people, giving some people chances for work that others may not have, and providing guests with a superior dining experience. I have helped run many dining establishments from California to Cleveland, and eventually Georgia in Savannah to be closer to my parents. Luckily, it was the restaurant that brought me to Savannah, where I met Heather for the first time. And well, the rest is history!

Extra Information

    • Names: Heather & Ben Carson
    • Location: Savannah, Georgia
    • Number of embryos: 3 (2 Euploid, 1 higher quality mosaic)
    • Agency: ConceiveAbilities
    • Fertility Clinic: Weill Cornell Center for Reproductive Medicine (NYC)
    • Surrogate Compensation: $35,000-$45,000
    • What type of relationship do you envision with your surrogate?: Very close in regular contact, spending time together when possible
    • Requirements: 
      • Age 25-40
      • no more than 3 previous deliveries
      • ideally in driving distance in Georgia, South Caroline, or Northern Florida

The Biggest Ask Says

The American Society for Reproductive Medicine provides the following recommendations for evaluation of gestational carriers (i.e., many fertility clinics will require the following for their gestational carriers) :

  • Carried at least 1 child without complications
  • Fewer than 3 deliveries via c-section 
  • Body mass index in between 19 and 32
  • No smoking, abusing drugs, alcohol or prescription medications
  • Not receiving welfare, public housing or cash assistance from the government
  • Has a stable home life with emotional and child care support
  • No mental health conditions requiring the use of medications within the last 6 months (including depression)
  • No criminal record
Watch the following video to review the Medical and Psychological Clearance procedures that surrogates must complete.

No one likes to talk about surrogate compensation, but it is an important factor in any surrogacy agreement. The following is how we classify high, medium and low compensation (excluding the value of any benefits). Many factors affect surrogate compensation including surrogate experience (e.g., has the woman been a surrogate before?), whether the surrogate is signed up with an agency and surrogate preferences.

  • Low = surrogate compensation less than $20,000
  • Medium = surrogate compensation between $20,000 and $40,000
  • High = surrogate compensation greater than $40,000

You can learn more about how much surrogates get paid in our surrogacy guide’s module: “How much does surrogacy cost?”.

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