Q: Tell us about yourself! What led you to surrogacy?
A: I actually grew up around surrogacy. My mom is a 3 time surrogate. On her second journey, I knew that surrogacy was something I wanted to do when I got older. After having my son, I was eligible.
Q: We see in your bio that you say "Mother & Daughter Surrogates". Have you and your mom both been surrogates before?
A: Yes. My mother is a 3 time surrogate and I am a 3 time surrogate, as well. She did her journeys in the early 2000’s, when surrogacy was still new and considered a bit taboo.
Q: Did you do independent surrogacy journeys or agency-led? What led you to that decision?
A: I have done agency. All three times. I’ve only been with 2 agencies. It seemed like the best fit for me at the time. It was the easiest since they do all the nitty gritty work. But if I were to do it again, I would go independently, due to my experiences with agencies.
Q: Amazing that you and your mom have created a podcast to open up conversations around surrogacy! What made you decide to do that?
A: We are so happy that people are willing to keep the conversation going! We feel so honored. We never thought it would reach as many people as it has. We decided to start a podcast because of my last surrogacy. We were talking and decided we wanted to write a book since together we have gone through 6 journeys and each one was vastly different. But a book takes a lot of time, so we decided to start a podcast first. We gained so much knowledge from each experience that we just wanted to share with those looking into surrogacy or just wanting to educate themselves on it. Surrogacy is becoming more accepting, however, it’s still extremely misunderstood. We just wanted to start the conversation because surrogates don’t get the appreciation and acknowledgement that they deserve. As surrogates, we don’t look for gold stars or pats on the back, all we want is to help people grow their family. And every journey is different. The more we talk about surrogacy, hopefully the more education is provided to those looking for the information. Surrogacy is a beautiful thing! And so selfless. But also, surrogates are superhero’s! We have superpowers and we are all so humble to the point that we forget that, yes, we are helping people out of love and from the best place in our heart, however, we forget that it’s okay to have a voice as well. We as surrogates just want to help, but a lot of the time we forget or just don’t know the toll that a journey could possibly put on us mentally, physically, emotionally, and have on our families, our supporters. It’s okay to also protect yourself and as a surrogate we have rights. But because we are compensated, we are sometimes made to feel like we don’t have rights. And that is a big reason why we wanted to open the conversation of surrogacy and change the conversation of surrogacy. There is so much to surrogacy and the science behind it that we still don’t know or understand or control, but we can have a voice in our journeys and make them beautiful and get exactly whatever it is we are looking to get out of it. Maybe a friend for life, or maybe just a chapter in our life, but knowing your rights as a surrogate just isn’t talked about. And the more information and education we have the more we can understand and guide our hopefully “perfect” or at least beautiful journey.
Q: How did you find ways to connect with your IPs and what type of relationship did you have with them?
A: My first two IPs lived in different countries so we talked on apps weekly and just connected via Facetime and text. My first couple I am still very close with. I see them every now and then and we exchange texts and photos a lot.
My second IPs, we don’t talk much but had a beautiful relationship. We exchange texts and photos on holidays and birthdays.
My third IPs, I did not speak with directly. I had an extremely toxic and mentally abusive relationship with them. I exchanged communication in the presence of my agency via written communication. We do not speak at all now.
Q: What is something you wish more people knew about surrogacy?
A: I wish people, surrogates, in particular knew that they have a voice. Just because they are being paid for a job, doesn’t mean they are silenced. If you don’t like something, SAY SOMETHING! If you see a red flag, RUN! If you want to change something in your contract or add something, then do so. The worst that will happen is they will say no. Surrogates are rare. There are not enough of us. You have the right to stand up for yourself and to protect yourself. Money has nothing to do with it and we should not be shamed into thinking so. Also, your journey may not be perfect or what you had entirely hoped for. Your expectations might not be fully met. But if you take your time and choose the right couple, the couple that will click with you and have the same beliefs and feelings about this journey as you, that’ll make a world of difference in your journey.