Q: How did your kid’s handle you being a surrogate? Did they understand it?
A: My 4 year old understood what was going on; that I was helping a couple have a baby. My 2 year old was sort if clueless. I show him pictures of the baby (now 7 months old) and he says her name and how cute she is. I don’t think he realizes I was pregnant with her. My 4 year old remembers me being pregnant with her and still talks about it. We have the book “The Kangaroo Pouch” that explains surrogacy in a kid friendly way.
Q: You mentioned that you researched surrogacy for about 3 years before making the decision, what kind of things did you research? What made you finally decide to do it?
A: I didn’t actively research it a lot. While I was pregnant with my first son I got a targeted ad on facebook about surrogacy and briefly looked into it. After I had him I did a small amount of googling and thought it would be amazing to do down the road. My husband and I had our second son, and my pregnancies and deliveries were so easy. I started doing a little more research and found my agency Circle Surrogacy. I applied when my son was about 10 months old (he had to be weaned off breastmilk for me to move forward in the process).
Q: What is your relationship like with your IF’s? How did you celebrate big milestones with them?
A: My IFs and I built such an amazing relationship. We were able to meet in February 2020 before covid started here. We texted via WhatsApp daily, and did calls every week or so. I would call them during appointments so they could watch ultrasounds or talk to the doctor. We didn’t see each other in person again until I was about 34 weeks pregnant. We did a maternity shoot together which was amazing!
Q: What made you choose an agency instead of going the independent route?
A: I choose an agency just because I wanted the extra support. My agency coordinator is so incredibly helpful and knowledgeable that I just couldn’t do this without her. In the beginning before you transfer there is just so many steps to complete and I was afraid I would skip a step if doing it alone.
Q: Do you think you will be a surrogate again?
A: I missed being pregnant the day after I delivered my first surro baby. I spoke with the IFs who wanted to wait a few years before having another (I want to carry for them again when they are ready) and my husband and I decided to apply to Circle Surrogacy at about 4 months PP. I am now matched with a new set of IFs who live in the US. We are planning the transfer in February (I will be 11 months PP) and getting to know each other! We will actually meet in person in a few weeks.
Q: I can’t imagine how scary it was to lose one of the twins during pregnancy, how did that affect the rest of your surro pregnancy?
A: It was definitely a lot of anxiety for a solid month after learning we lost one of the babies. I was constantly on edge if we were going to lose the remaining baby. We did weekly ultrasounds for a month and everything looked great. I think the IFs and I really calmed down after we did the anatomy scan and then the fetal echo at around 22 weeks. Everything was looking perfect, she was growing as expected, and the doctors concerns were lessening. Our ultrasounds were done less often, and she was moving like crazy, so I knew she was doing great.
Q: Was your husband a good support system for you during the surrogacy journey?
He was/is amazing. He knows how much I love being pregnant and encouraged me to do another journey if that is what I wanted. He helps a lot already around the house and with our kids (he is a stay at home dad), so I think he is one of the reasons I have such easy pregnancies!