Lauren and Deanna

About Us

They met online like many same-sex couples do in the Bay Area of California. They messaged for weeks before finally meeting in person. On their very first date they shared they both wanted children but that only Lauren wanted to carry children and that they both wanted to get married but only Deanna wanted to propose – it was a seamless match! Deanna went home from that first date and told her best friends (her first grade teacher and her husband who lived next door) that she wanted to marry Lauren. Within 6 months they were living together and on their very first vacation together they started talking about marriage. After getting engaged they went on a trip the same exact spot as that first vacation and discussed the timing of getting married, having children and even baby names. Before getting married they came up with a whole plan for how they would acquire donor sperm and a timeline for having the four children they wanted before Lauren turned 40. They had their first child, a daughter, in 2017, a son in 2019 and a daughter in 2022 and adore each of them!

OUR INTERESTS

Deanna and Lauren enjoy each other’s company and being playful. They both love good food and finding fun things to do on their weekly date-nights (go-kart racing, movies, double-dates, wine tasting, picnics, escape rooms, playing cards, hiking). They also both love their careers and sharing them with one another. Because they both own their own businesses but those businesses are related, they can share a lot about their worlds with one another. They were also both soccer players and are big fans of women’s professional soccer, specifically the women’s national team. They dream of traveling internationally together as their kids get older.

What led us to Surrogacy?

Lauren carried all three of our children (one via IUI and two IVF). Our first daughter is Lauren’s biological child and our son and youngest daughter are Deanna’s biological children. Unfortunately, with each pregnancy she experienced increasingly severe morning sickness. She has a history of depression prior to having children and experienced significant postpartum depression and anxiety with two of the three pregnancies. With this history, the likelihood that she would experience depression again is quite high. Between the difficulty being pregnant and the risk of depression we feel that pursuing another pregnancy is not a good decision for our family. Deanna has never been interested in carrying children; it just is not part of her identity. From Lauren: After I delivered our third baby, I had a dream (while still in the hospital) that we had another son. I saw his sweet face and brown curly hair and knew that he was supposed to join us. I don’t consider myself to be spiritual or a believer in fate but this dream felt so deeply like it should be so that I immediately felt sad. I couldn’t see how I could manage another pregnancy. With each pregnancy my morning sickness started earlier and lasted longer, increased in intensity and in the third pregnancy the vomiting returned in the third trimester. The morning sickness is bad enough that I can barely take care of anyone else putting a huge strain on Deanna. And, it usually leads to me feeling depressed for a good part of the pregnancy. With all of this and the heightened risk of postpartum depression, I felt like I was failing my family by not bringing this fourth child into it but couldn’t figure out how to make it possible. A friend was talking about their surrogacy journey and I suddenly felt like our missing child might be possible after all. It feels like I am passing on one of the most important jobs I’ll ever have but I also deeply believe there is a woman out there who I could have a warm, wonderful relationship with who could help me bring our son into the world.

WHAT ARE YOUR HOPES AND DREAMS FOR YOUR FUTURE CHILD?

Deanna and Lauren have wanted four children since they first started talking about their future family. Lauren is one of two and Deanna is one of four and both of them loved the idea of having a larger family. They believe that siblings are unique and very special relationships that are wonderful to have as one travels through life. They are very committed to providing all of their children with excellent educations both from school and family experiences so that they become independent, responsible, capable and mature adults that can have healthy relationships and make choices that lead to wonderful lives. They also want to cultivate good relationships amongst all of the children so that they have each other throughout their whole lives. They want to help each of their children learn and grow into themselves so that they can live their lives on their terms.

Communication and Contact

We would like to have the ability to reach our GC at least once per week but are open to being flexible to life’s schedules. We definitely want to know about each appointment and the outcome of them and to be at the labor and delivery. We would like to have a close relationships with our GC at least during the pregnancy. We would like to be involved in the process and have easy communication to know how things are going but will also be respectful of boundaries (we have a family and we understand how crazy life can be!) We are open to the idea of a long-term relationship with our GC and their family but do not have to have that. We would like a GC who will comply with all recommended vaccinations and procedures during the pregnancy but are open to discussing any that are considered voluntary. We definitely want to be present for the labor and delivery and would love to be involved where possible. We prefer the GC to be in a very supportive relationship with a partner/spouse and who is going to participate in the process. We prefer a GC (and partner) who will be direct in their preferences and how things are going so that we can work with them the best way possible through the process (even better if they’ve been through this process before and know already how they prefer to navigate it!) We don’t want GC who has a profession or life situation that puts them in risky situations physically or emotionally/psychologically. We just want someone who will love and care for our little baby as much as we would!

Extra Information

  • Lauren & Deanna

  • Location: Rohnert Park, CA

  • Number of embryos: 6 PGT embryos

  • Agency/Management Team: The Biggest Ask – if interested, email hello@thebiggestask.com

  • Fertility Clinic: Nova IVF

  • Surrogate Compensation: High

The Biggest Ask Says

The American Society for Reproductive Medicine provides the following recommendations for evaluation of gestational carriers (i.e., many fertility clinics will require the following for their gestational carriers):

  • Carried at least 1 child without complications
  • Fewer than 3 deliveries via c-section
  • Be within the ages of 21 and 45
  • Body mass index in between 19 and 32
  • No smoking, abusing drugs, alcohol or prescription medications
  • Not receiving welfare, public housing or cash assistance from the government
  • Has a stable home life with emotional and child care support
  • No mental health conditions requiring the use of medications within the last 6 months (including depression)
  • No criminal record

Watch the following video to review the Medical and Psychological Clearance procedures that surrogates must complete.

No one likes to talk about surrogate compensation, but it is an important factor in any surrogacy agreement. The following is how we classify high, medium and low compensation (excluding the value of any benefits). Many factors affect surrogate compensation including surrogate experience (e.g., has the woman been a surrogate before?), whether the surrogate is signed up with an agency and surrogate preferences.

  • Low = surrogate compensation less than $30,000
  • Medium = surrogate compensation between $30,000 and $45,000
  • High = surrogate compensation greater than $45,000

You can learn more about how much surrogates get paid in our surrogacy guide’s module: “How much does surrogacy cost?”.

Could you be their surrogate?

If you're interested in learning more about Lauren & Deanna, send us an email at hello@thebiggestask.com - subject line "Lauren & Deanna". 

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