What led us to Surrogacy?
After cycle #6, I knew I was done with IVF forever. I was exhausted, and just knew in my heart it was time to stop. After months of planning, we made the decision to transfer our embryo to me on 2/22/22. It resulted in a chemical pregnancy that left us crushed and back at square one. During the time we struggled to grow our family, I had been emailing my companies HR department once a year about the importance of providing fertility coverage, with no success. Only someone without it knows the added stress of revolving fertility treatments around the extremely high costs. While grieving the loss of our only embryo and incredibly difficult journey, I sent my most personal email to HR. I was met with nothing but understanding and equal amounts of frustration that we had gone SO LONG without any coverage. I worked with our benefits department to create a plan that would allow the benefits to be available to everyone… LGBTQ+, single parents, etc. A few months later, I received a call that we were getting coverage! It was such a monumental moment because this would give employees access to family planning options that might have been unattainable before. It was a game changer for us personally as it included donor eggs. We felt excitement and hope for the first time in a very long time. We jumped into the donor egg process and a year and a half later, we have multiple healthy embryos and are hoping to finally find our perfect match to help us grow our family!
What kind of relationship do you envision with your surrogate?
Names: Mary and Rob
Location: Woodbury, New Jersey (right outside of Philadelphia)
Number of embryos: >5 PGT Embryos
Agency/Management Team: The Biggest Ask – if interested, email email@example.com
Fertility Clinic: RMA Marlton
Surrogate Compensation: $35,000-$45,000
The Biggest Ask Says
The American Society for Reproductive Medicine provides the following recommendations for evaluation of gestational carriers (i.e., many fertility clinics will require the following for their gestational carriers) :
- Carried at least 1 child without complications
- Fewer than 3 deliveries via c-section
- Body mass index in between 19 and 32
- No smoking, abusing drugs, alcohol or prescription medications
- Not receiving welfare, public housing or cash assistance from the government
- Has a stable home life with emotional and child care support
- No mental health conditions requiring the use of medications within the last 6 months (including depression)
- No criminal record
No one likes to talk about surrogate compensation, but it is an important factor in any surrogacy agreement. The following is how we classify high, medium and low compensation (excluding the value of any benefits). Many factors affect surrogate compensation including surrogate experience (e.g., has the woman been a surrogate before?), whether the surrogate is signed up with an agency and surrogate preferences.
- Low = surrogate compensation less than $20,000
- Medium = surrogate compensation between $20,000 and $40,000
- High = surrogate compensation greater than $40,000