Communication is Key to Maintaining a Good Surrogate/IP Relationship.
Myranda lives in California with her husband and three children. She delivered her first surro baby in October 2020.
Q: How did your husband react when you told him you wanted to be a surrogate?
A: Honestly, it took a little bit of convincing to get my husband on board. His immediate response was something along the lines of “Yeah, NO”, but after talking about it for a while, he told me he would always support me, even if he thought I was being crazy.
He was nothing short of AMAZING during my journey. He ran out and got every craving I could ask for. He surprised me 3 times in one week with Starbucks bacon gouda breakfast sandwiches because it was one of the few things that tasted good and didn’t make me sick. He’s been even more amazing postpartum.
Q: What was your communication like with your IPs during the journey?
A: At the beginning, my IPs and I talked weekly and got along really well. As covid hit, they weren’t able to come out and be at doctor appointments like we had planned and I could feel them pulling away a little. I tried my best to still keep them involved (e.g., phone calls, videos, and pictures at every appointment). Towards delivery, I told them that I had chosen to have my mother in the delivery room with me. They were very upset with me for choosing my mother over them. And it did not end the way I had hoped. Once baby was born they cut all contact.
Q: You’re signed up for a second journey! Congrats. What makes you want to do it again?
A: Even though my journey did not go as I had hoped, I’m still very proud that I got to help this family grow. And I’m incredibly proud of my body for handling my pregnancy and labor the way it did. I just know that this is what I’m good at and what I’m supposed to do. I help grow Families. And I love it.
This time around my agency (who I love!), Tiny Sprouts, will help me go over my contract. I plan to be more specific in my contract and not be afraid to speak up for what I want.
Q: How have you managed the postpartum part of the surrogacy journey?
A: Not gonna lie, the first 2 weeks were super weird. I was very emotional. But not for the reasons most people think. I wasn’t emotional because I came home empty-handed, (quite frankly I loved coming home and being able to sleep and not worry about getting up every 2 hours to feed and change baby), but because of the disappointment that my relationship with my IPs never got to blossom into a life long friendship that I had desired.
Myranda’s Advice to Surrogates
“Don’t be afraid to speak up. Your feelings matter. Your feelings are valid. YOU matter and you are doing an amazing thing. Be proud of yourself and your journey. And make sure you get everything in writing!“
Myranda’s Advice to IPs
“Thank you for entrusting your sweet little babe to a total stranger. I can not imagine how hard it must be, especially during this pandemic, to miss out on certain things. But know we are trying our best to keep you included and involved as much as we can. Don’t be afraid to reach out constantly and ask us a million questions. We are doing this for you.“