The Biggest Ask Forums

Find answers, ask questions, and connect with other surrogates or intended parents across the USA. Register to contribute at



The Biggest Ask forum will be carefully monitored by admin. Users may be asked to re phrase their comments or questions if it comes across as insensitive or harsh. You must be signed in to contribute. Click here to register.

There are two major rules enforced:

  1. Be respectful
    Our aim is to be a place where intended parents and surrogates can get unbiased information about surrogacy in peace. Please refrain from judging others or criticising their choices. Our admin will follow closely and delete any disrespectful comments.
  2. Respect each other's privacy
    Being part of this community requires mutual trust. Authentic and honest discussions will make this forum amazing, but many things said might be private and sensitive.

What's shared here should stay here.

How the Forum works:

  1. Users can earn points:
    • 5 points for starting a conversation that is relevant to surrogacy (limited to one question a day users can ask more questions but they just get 5 points for one)
    • Awarding 5 points for answering a question AND getting a "like". Every additional "like" the person gets earns them 1 additional point.
    • Every week, all users are awarded 5 likes to distribute as they choose. The likes don't roll over so it's just 5 likes a week that they can distribute.
  2. Once a user earns 100 points, we get notified and you'll receive a $100 amazon gift card.
  3. Getting a certain number of points will get you the rank of "experienced surrogate" or "experienced intended parent".


The Biggest Ask Forums For Intended Parents Anatomy Scan Question

  • Anatomy Scan Question

    Posted by Katharine on February 23, 2023 at 5:56 pm

    My husband and I are considering taking our 4-year-old son to the anatomy scan next month. We haven’t shared the baby news with him yet, but we would prior to the appointment if we decide to take him. Does anyone have experience with this? It’s a lot to take in, but I wonder if it would be good for him to meet our amazing surrogate before we introduce our families a few weeks later. We appreciate any input, thanks!

    Maggie replied 1 year, 3 months ago 4 Members · 5 Replies
  • 5 Replies
  • MaryJane

    February 25, 2023 at 7:17 pm

    Hi @TKIrwin ! Sorry it took me a while to respond! 🙂 I think it’s a great idea to bring him! We introduced Enzo to our surrogate almost immediately (even before our transfer). I’m not sure if he’s understanding anything, but I still cherish the memories and I think he had fun, too.

    • Katharine

      February 25, 2023 at 7:37 pm

      Thanks, MJ! We look forward to introducing him to our surrogate and sharing the news, but just not sure if the anatomy scan is the right time. Our picture of how it could go and his reality (what will he even understand?!) might be very different! Will he be excited, confused or bored. Haha

  • Kelli

    February 25, 2023 at 7:29 pm

    What a great question! I don’t have an experience but my surrogate has a 4 and 7 year old and she told them with a children’s book and the four year old asks her to read that book over and over again and is absolutely obsessed with her mom’s “belly buddy”. I definitely think it would be super special for your little one to meet your surrogate. Congratulations!!

    • Katharine

      February 25, 2023 at 7:38 pm

      Thanks, Kelli! We’re excited to share everything with him too. And definitely planning on getting a book, which I’m sure will be helpful!

  • Maggie

    February 25, 2023 at 8:06 pm

    Hi @TKIrwin This is such a good question! We have a 5 year old and she has known our surrogate and her family for most of this process (since before our transfers and throughout my IVF journeys), but we did want to bring her to at least one of the ultrasounds! We ended up having two anatomy scans because baby wasn’t cooperative during the first. So we brought our daughter to the second one. I loved it! She was definitely bored, but she played nice for me ???? We also did a private 3D ultrasound and got to invite all the grandparents, and she enjoyed that a lot more.

Log in to reply.