The Biggest Ask Forums

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The Biggest Ask Forums For Surrogates Private surrogacy for a friend?

  • Private surrogacy for a friend?

    Posted by IdahoSurrogate on December 16, 2022 at 11:14 pm

    Looking for advice and direction. We are just starting this conversation.

    My spouse and I have two healthy young children already.

    We have two friends that are male-male partners and are looking to do surrogacy for their first children. Currently, they have started talking with some agencies.

    We have broached the subject and started more serious conversations about being a surrogate for them, potentially for back-to-back surrogacies to deliver two children.

    I’m looking for high-level advice and direction for going about this. We want to make sure everything is above board and we all have no problems doing legal contracts, compensations, medical screenings, etc…..just unsure of how to get this all underway privately.

    I guess to start, how much compensation is appropriate for a private contract rather than using an agency? Can anyone refer a law firm that specializes in these types of contracts?

    MaryJane replied 1 year, 5 months ago 3 Members · 9 Replies
  • 9 Replies
  • MaryJane

    December 18, 2022 at 2:21 am

    Hi @IdahoSurrogate – I am so sorry for the delay! I think it’s so wonderful that you are thinking about doing this for a friend! My first piece of advice is to find a surrogacy lawyer within your state. Interview a few of them – see how you feel. Make sure that you are heard and that you are treated with kindness! A good surrogacy lawyer can go such a long way in helping you out during a journey. Another source of support can be the fertility clinic that you and your IPs will use to do the embryo transfer. Sometimes the nurses and coordinators do a lot to help you through the steps.

    I don’t have any good recommendations for a consultant, but in a few months, The Biggest Ask will start offering a surrogacy program meant to support surrogates and intended parents during a journey for $99/month.

  • MaryJane

    December 18, 2022 at 2:23 am

    @IdahoSurrogate in terms of compensation, it depends on a few factors – do you have surrogacy friendly insurance (you can call your insurance company and ask)? If so, compensation is usually higher. For a first time surrogate with surrogacy friendly insurance, I would say $40,000 is fair – but anything lower or higher is also fair too! It is just up to you and your IPs ๐Ÿ™‚

    • IdahoSurrogate

      December 23, 2022 at 6:43 pm

      Thank you for your comments.

      Yes, we are planning to get two separate attorneys to work through the proper contract work.

      Yes, they are already working with a Fertility Clinic and have the embryos ready to go.

      For insurance, my employer’s health insurance does NOT cover surrogacy….the donors are planning to purchase a 3rd party policy for my wife.

      So start around $40k basis for discussing compensation? I’m already collecting a laundry list of additional fees/reimbursements on top of the flat compensation.

      I wonder, does the surrogate get a 1099 from the donors? Or do they treat it like an IRS gift?

      • MaryJane

        December 26, 2022 at 8:09 pm

        @IdahoSurrogate most surrogates do not receive a 1099 so they don’t usually pay taxes on their comp!

  • Jill

    December 20, 2022 at 8:42 pm

    Hi! Yay on considering being a surrogate for your friends!

    I am a independent surrogate on my first journey- although I did not know my intended parents prior. I have surrogacy friendly insurance (the first thing I would do is review your insurance booklet and look for any exclusions, then the intended parents can pay artrisk to run a review).

    The clinic is a huge help but mostly just doing tons of research, (medications required, what would you do if you needed long term bedrest, side effects, are you done with your family, ect.)

    Compensation wise there are a ton of spreadsheets out there if you search various agencies that should give you some ideas. But being you are carrying for your friends don’t feel pressured to ask for x amount, you need to come up with the “worth it” amount to you – that varies for everyone!

    Happy researching and planning – you already are in a great place!

    • IdahoSurrogate

      December 23, 2022 at 6:43 pm

      are you able to share any spreadsheets you found most helpful?

  • Jill

    December 20, 2022 at 8:44 pm

    Oh and as for lawyers I asked for referrals in some surrogacy facebook groups, and the clinic set up the psych eval and all the testing required to proceed!

    • IdahoSurrogate

      December 27, 2022 at 5:49 pm

      can you share the names of a few of the FB groups?

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