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The Biggest Ask Forums For Intended Parents What can I do for my surrogate during the pregnancy?

  • What can I do for my surrogate during the pregnancy?

    Posted by MaryJane on July 2, 2022 at 2:05 pm

    Our surrogate’s love language is “Acts of Service”. I’m trying to think of things my husband and I can do for her during the pregnancy. Already thinking about making some food. Any other thoughts?

    MaryJane replied 10 months, 2 weeks ago 9 Members · 21 Replies
  • 21 Replies
  • Ashley

    Administrator
    July 2, 2022 at 2:45 pm

    Coffee + Rudy’s Flower Truck Delivery!

    Help with something on her To-Do List

    • MaryJane

      Administrator
      July 2, 2022 at 5:49 pm

      @surrogacyofhope They don’t deliver to her area! lol – and how did you know about Rudy’s? 😛 How do I get access to her To-Do list? Great idea tho 🙂

      • Ashley

        Administrator
        July 2, 2022 at 9:49 pm

        I saw Rudy’s when I was visiting you! and I know it’s her fav!

        Ask her if there is anything you can help her with on her to-do list 🙂

  • AliMon611

    Member
    July 2, 2022 at 4:18 pm

    This can be tricky depending if they are local or not. I love the idea of bringing a meal over or if they aren’t local, maybe sending cookies or some other treat. We had a scare at the end of the first trimester and our surrogate is 4 hours away so I sent her a platter of treats from a local bakery.

    • MaryJane

      Administrator
      July 2, 2022 at 5:52 pm

      @AliMon611 Thank you! That is a great idea – bakery delivery. I’ll see if she has any nearby 🙂 How far along are you guys?

  • Tanya

    Member
    July 2, 2022 at 7:23 pm

    Love the question. How do you recommend finding out her love language without asking her? Guess you kinda have to!

    • MaryJane

      Administrator
      July 2, 2022 at 7:59 pm

      @Tanya yes – i think it would be hard without asking her to take the quiz. I feel like you can ask her what her love language is without it coming across creepy 🙂 Just tell her that you are looking for ways to support her during the journey and this quiz is great for understanding what people value. Here’s a link to the quiz: https://5lovelanguages.com/quizzes/love-language

      btw – do you know your love language?

  • RobinW

    Member
    July 2, 2022 at 7:52 pm

    Hi!

    For our surrogate (she is local), I’ve done small things from buying her shower steamers, cozy socks, cookies, a candle and body lotion. Little items to let her know that we are always thinking about her and appreciate her so very much! I also plan on dropping her off dinner on a night that her husband is working.

    • MaryJane

      Administrator
      July 2, 2022 at 8:00 pm

      @RobinW Those are great suggestions! I struggled to find shower steamers. Where did you find some? Our surrogate has a beta next Friday, so thinking about meeting her at the clinic and bringing her some food! Thanks 🙂

      • RobinW

        Member
        July 2, 2022 at 11:54 pm

        Hi,

        I buy them from a local store here in our town. I just looked and you can find them online on Amazon, Bath and Body Works, and Ulta.

        Our surrogate also travels a lot during the summer months. I forgot to mention that I had bought her a medication caddy.

        I’m so happy that you’ve created this forum. Thank you so much for all that you do!

        • MaryJane

          Administrator
          July 4, 2022 at 12:55 pm

          @RobinW thanks so much 🙂 Will check them out. And I’m so glad you like the forum!

  • Alycia.K

    Member
    July 5, 2022 at 8:48 pm

    This is my love language as well. In my first trimester I was very fatigued and had awful morning sickness. I could barley find the energy to cook and when I did, I struggled to handle the smells. When I went for my heart beat confirmation, my IPs showed up with a cooler full of home cooked meals that them and both their parents had made for me! It was soooo helpful!

    • MaryJane

      Administrator
      July 5, 2022 at 10:06 pm

      @Alycia.K That is freaking amazing! How many meals did they end up making for you guys? 🙂

      • MaryJane

        Administrator
        July 5, 2022 at 10:12 pm

        @Alycia.K and which ones were your faves?

        • Alycia.K

          Member
          July 6, 2022 at 10:55 pm

          I already won’t eat anything with most cheese, nothing at all that resembles yogurt (mayo, salad dressings, dip, sour cream etc) but on top of that I had développés a super intense aversion to all meat and eggs.

          They went out of their way and tweaked so many recipes to fit my super picky pallet. Favourites were: veggie lasagna, a Lebanese rice dish one of their parents made to eat with toasted pita and IM’s mom made me the best banana bread I’ve ever had!

          • MaryJane

            Administrator
            July 7, 2022 at 3:56 pm

            @Alycia.K that all sounds absolutely delicious!!!

  • JamiJDeVries

    Member
    July 15, 2022 at 12:18 am

    Maybe gift certificate to a parental massage – just encouraging her to relax and take some time for herself.

    • MaryJane

      Administrator
      July 15, 2022 at 1:41 pm

      Thank you @JamiJDeVries ! That’s definitely on my list 🙂

  • ChelseaB

    Member
    September 20, 2022 at 5:57 pm

    Just wanted to say how sweet of you to do this <3 🙂

  • mbo

    Member
    July 18, 2023 at 4:12 pm

    That is our surrogate’s love language also, and it’s hard because all I want is to send her gifts but she doesn’t love clutter/things! One item we found that she and her husband said they really appreciated was LittleSpoon food delivery for her children. I’m sure there are other brands that may be similar, basically it’s healthy frozen kids meals they can pull out at any time. If I were local I would also send over a babysitter I knew or offer to take her kids somewhere fun to give her a break.

    • MaryJane

      Administrator
      July 18, 2023 at 4:18 pm

      Love this idea!! Thanks for sharing!

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