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The Biggest Ask Forums For Intended Parents What can I do for my surrogate during the pregnancy?

  • What can I do for my surrogate during the pregnancy?

    Posted by MJC on July 2, 2022 at 2:05 pm

    Our surrogate’s love language is “Acts of Service”. I’m trying to think of things my husband and I can do for her during the pregnancy. Already thinking about making some food. Any other thoughts?

    ChelseaB replied 2 months, 1 week ago 8 Members · 19 Replies
  • 19 Replies
  • surrogacyofhope

    Administrator
    July 2, 2022 at 2:45 pm

    Coffee + Rudy’s Flower Truck Delivery!

    Help with something on her To-Do List

    • MJC

      Administrator
      July 2, 2022 at 5:49 pm

      @surrogacyofhope They don’t deliver to her area! lol – and how did you know about Rudy’s? 😛 How do I get access to her To-Do list? Great idea tho 🙂

      • surrogacyofhope

        Administrator
        July 2, 2022 at 9:49 pm

        I saw Rudy’s when I was visiting you! and I know it’s her fav!

        Ask her if there is anything you can help her with on her to-do list 🙂

  • AliMon611

    Member
    July 2, 2022 at 4:18 pm

    This can be tricky depending if they are local or not. I love the idea of bringing a meal over or if they aren’t local, maybe sending cookies or some other treat. We had a scare at the end of the first trimester and our surrogate is 4 hours away so I sent her a platter of treats from a local bakery.

    • MJC

      Administrator
      July 2, 2022 at 5:52 pm

      @AliMon611 Thank you! That is a great idea – bakery delivery. I’ll see if she has any nearby 🙂 How far along are you guys?

  • Tanya

    Member
    July 2, 2022 at 7:23 pm

    Love the question. How do you recommend finding out her love language without asking her? Guess you kinda have to!

    • MJC

      Administrator
      July 2, 2022 at 7:59 pm

      @Tanya yes – i think it would be hard without asking her to take the quiz. I feel like you can ask her what her love language is without it coming across creepy 🙂 Just tell her that you are looking for ways to support her during the journey and this quiz is great for understanding what people value. Here’s a link to the quiz: https://5lovelanguages.com/quizzes/love-language

      btw – do you know your love language?

  • RobinW

    Member
    July 2, 2022 at 7:52 pm

    Hi!

    For our surrogate (she is local), I’ve done small things from buying her shower steamers, cozy socks, cookies, a candle and body lotion. Little items to let her know that we are always thinking about her and appreciate her so very much! I also plan on dropping her off dinner on a night that her husband is working.

    • MJC

      Administrator
      July 2, 2022 at 8:00 pm

      @RobinW Those are great suggestions! I struggled to find shower steamers. Where did you find some? Our surrogate has a beta next Friday, so thinking about meeting her at the clinic and bringing her some food! Thanks 🙂

      • RobinW

        Member
        July 2, 2022 at 11:54 pm

        Hi,

        I buy them from a local store here in our town. I just looked and you can find them online on Amazon, Bath and Body Works, and Ulta.

        Our surrogate also travels a lot during the summer months. I forgot to mention that I had bought her a medication caddy.

        I’m so happy that you’ve created this forum. Thank you so much for all that you do!

        • MJC

          Administrator
          July 4, 2022 at 12:55 pm

          @RobinW thanks so much 🙂 Will check them out. And I’m so glad you like the forum!

  • Alycia.K

    Member
    July 5, 2022 at 8:48 pm

    This is my love language as well. In my first trimester I was very fatigued and had awful morning sickness. I could barley find the energy to cook and when I did, I struggled to handle the smells. When I went for my heart beat confirmation, my IPs showed up with a cooler full of home cooked meals that them and both their parents had made for me! It was soooo helpful!

    • MJC

      Administrator
      July 5, 2022 at 10:06 pm

      @Alycia.K That is freaking amazing! How many meals did they end up making for you guys? 🙂

      • MJC

        Administrator
        July 5, 2022 at 10:12 pm

        @Alycia.K and which ones were your faves?

        • Alycia.K

          Member
          July 6, 2022 at 10:55 pm

          I already won’t eat anything with most cheese, nothing at all that resembles yogurt (mayo, salad dressings, dip, sour cream etc) but on top of that I had développés a super intense aversion to all meat and eggs.

          They went out of their way and tweaked so many recipes to fit my super picky pallet. Favourites were: veggie lasagna, a Lebanese rice dish one of their parents made to eat with toasted pita and IM’s mom made me the best banana bread I’ve ever had!

          • MJC

            Administrator
            July 7, 2022 at 3:56 pm

            @Alycia.K that all sounds absolutely delicious!!!

  • JamiJDeVries

    Member
    July 15, 2022 at 12:18 am

    Maybe gift certificate to a parental massage – just encouraging her to relax and take some time for herself.

    • MJC

      Administrator
      July 15, 2022 at 1:41 pm

      Thank you @JamiJDeVries ! That’s definitely on my list 🙂

  • ChelseaB

    Member
    September 20, 2022 at 5:57 pm

    Just wanted to say how sweet of you to do this <3 🙂