The Biggest Ask Forums

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How the Forum works:

  1. Users can earn points:
    • 5 points for starting a conversation that is relevant to surrogacy (limited to one question a day users can ask more questions but they just get 5 points for one)
    • Awarding 5 points for answering a question AND getting a "like". Every additional "like" the person gets earns them 1 additional point.
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  3. Getting a certain number of points will get you the rank of "experienced surrogate" or "experienced intended parent".


The Biggest Ask Forums For Intended Parents Would IP consider someone like me?

  • Would IP consider someone like me?

    Posted by Hanna on October 8, 2022 at 12:25 pm

    I have wanted to be a surrogate ever since I was 18 years old, but wanted to wait until I was finished growing my own family and in a stable position in life. That time has come, and I’m looking to start my journey no earlier than one year from now. I’m certain I would be a great surrogate, as I am so passionate about pregnancy, birth, and babies. I am healthy, and have brought 4 incredible little girls into the world. But there is one problem that I am worried will inevitably keep intended parents from ever selecting me. My problem is, I had a complicated first pregnancy. My first pregnancy was identical twins. They shared a placenta, and one baby was IUGR due to the uneven split of the placenta. This caused them to be born early at 32 weeks. I did not go into labor, but delivered via c-section due to her growth restriction. In addition, the twin pregnancy also gave me preeclampsia, and gestational diabetes. That being said, I was given immediate medical clearance to continue growing my family as my medical team determined that the likelihood of those complications occurring again are no higher than they would be for any average woman. Additionally, both twins were and are typically developing and healthy after outgrowing their prematurity. And I did grow my family. I since have had two more babies, both born at 40 weeks or later via VBAC, with absolutely uncomplicated pregnancies and births. My question is, would this medical history keep all families from selecting me to be their surrogate?

    Thank you for reading all of that and thank you in advance for your honest responses!

    Danielle replied 1 year, 7 months ago 3 Members · 2 Replies
  • 2 Replies
  • MaryJane

    October 8, 2022 at 10:25 pm

    Hi @Hanna ! First off – I just wanted to say that I think it’s so wonderful that you want to help another family. I think it will be more difficult for you to find an agency and a family, but not necessarily impossible. If I were you, I would start by contacting local fertility clinics or surrogacy lawyers. I would ask local fertility clinics what they think about your past history and whether they would automatically deny you. Clinics all vary in what they are willing to accept. Connecting with a surrogacy lawyer can also be helpful.

  • Danielle

    October 11, 2022 at 6:25 pm

    @hanna My Husband and I are IP’s looking for a match and we would definitely consider a profile like yours. To me your complicated first pregnancy was more a result of circumstance (Amazing twin pregnancy) and not an actual physical condition that makes all pregnancies complicated. And that seems to be backed up by your issue free subsequent pregnancies. My only issue would be if the clinic would clear you. Like MJ said, all the clinics seem to have different guidelines. I have heard of IP’s changing clinics to stick with a surrogate, but I’m not sure I’d be comfortable moving my embryos to another clinic. Also, make sure you try and stick with single embryo transfers, if you want, just for your health. The clinic may actually require this given the complicated twin pregnancy, though we all know twins could still happen.

    Maybe when you match, it would be good for the IP’s to immediately discuss your history with their clinic and see if it’s a go before going too far down the line. You probably don’t want to go through legal and everything only to find out the clinic won’t OK you to carry. That would be heartbreaking. But knowing up front, fairly soon after you find your IP’s would at least allow you and the IP’s to find other matches without losing too much time, or to formulate a different plan together without losing too much time. I hope that helps! We are still new and learning too, but I know there are other IP’s out there who wouldn’t count you out! Good Luck!

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