The Biggest Ask Forums

Find answers, ask questions, and connect with other surrogates or intended parents across the USA. Register to contribute at



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There are two major rules enforced:

  1. Be respectful
    Our aim is to be a place where intended parents and surrogates can get unbiased information about surrogacy in peace. Please refrain from judging others or criticising their choices. Our admin will follow closely and delete any disrespectful comments.
  2. Respect each other's privacy
    Being part of this community requires mutual trust. Authentic and honest discussions will make this forum amazing, but many things said might be private and sensitive.

What's shared here should stay here.

How the Forum works:

  1. Users can earn points:
    • 5 points for starting a conversation that is relevant to surrogacy (limited to one question a day users can ask more questions but they just get 5 points for one)
    • Awarding 5 points for answering a question AND getting a "like". Every additional "like" the person gets earns them 1 additional point.
    • Every week, all users are awarded 5 likes to distribute as they choose. The likes don't roll over so it's just 5 likes a week that they can distribute.
  2. Once a user earns 100 points, we get notified and you'll receive a $100 amazon gift card.
  3. Getting a certain number of points will get you the rank of "experienced surrogate" or "experienced intended parent".


The Biggest Ask Forums For Surrogates How do you get to know your IPs in the early days? Reply To: How do you get to know your IPs in the early days?

  • RachEliz

    August 2, 2022 at 3:07 pm

    Early on we did some texting (about surrogacy and general life updates), then social media following, and phone calls. We were lucky to have some in-person time during medical clearance and after transfer, which was really lovely and a great way to break the ice. I am introverted, so I wasn’t necessarily looking forward to building a relationship (the process of it), but I WANTED to, if that makes sense. I knew, for me, surrogacy would be better with IPs who wanted to develop trust and camaraderie instead of thinking of it as strictly transactional. Fortunately our match is on the same page! (And it’s okay that others seek out different surrogate relationships, of course). At this stage (post transfer, + betas, pre-ultrasound), IM & I text daily and talk a couple times a week, much of it about the surrogacy process and some of it about family/life/work. I’m sure that pattern will change as the weeks go on. As I’ve wondered about potential future journeys I can’t help but feel like my IPs are a once-in-a-lifetime match… it will never be this easy/natural again ????