The Biggest Ask Forums

Find answers, ask questions, and connect with other surrogates or intended parents across the USA. Register to contribute at



The Biggest Ask forum will be carefully monitored by admin. Users may be asked to re phrase their comments or questions if it comes across as insensitive or harsh. You must be signed in to contribute. Click here to register.

There are two major rules enforced:

  1. Be respectful
    Our aim is to be a place where intended parents and surrogates can get unbiased information about surrogacy in peace. Please refrain from judging others or criticising their choices. Our admin will follow closely and delete any disrespectful comments.
  2. Respect each other's privacy
    Being part of this community requires mutual trust. Authentic and honest discussions will make this forum amazing, but many things said might be private and sensitive.

What's shared here should stay here.

How the Forum works:

  1. Users can earn points:
    • 5 points for starting a conversation that is relevant to surrogacy (limited to one question a day users can ask more questions but they just get 5 points for one)
    • Awarding 5 points for answering a question AND getting a "like". Every additional "like" the person gets earns them 1 additional point.
    • Every week, all users are awarded 5 likes to distribute as they choose. The likes don't roll over so it's just 5 likes a week that they can distribute.
  2. Once a user earns 100 points, we get notified and you'll receive a $100 amazon gift card.
  3. Getting a certain number of points will get you the rank of "experienced surrogate" or "experienced intended parent".


The Biggest Ask Forums For Surrogates Private surrogacy for a friend? Reply To: Private surrogacy for a friend?

  • Jill

    December 20, 2022 at 8:42 pm

    Hi! Yay on considering being a surrogate for your friends!

    I am a independent surrogate on my first journey- although I did not know my intended parents prior. I have surrogacy friendly insurance (the first thing I would do is review your insurance booklet and look for any exclusions, then the intended parents can pay artrisk to run a review).

    The clinic is a huge help but mostly just doing tons of research, (medications required, what would you do if you needed long term bedrest, side effects, are you done with your family, ect.)

    Compensation wise there are a ton of spreadsheets out there if you search various agencies that should give you some ideas. But being you are carrying for your friends don’t feel pressured to ask for x amount, you need to come up with the “worth it” amount to you – that varies for everyone!

    Happy researching and planning – you already are in a great place!