The Biggest Ask Forums

Find answers, ask questions, and connect with other surrogates or intended parents across the USA. Register to contribute at



The Biggest Ask forum will be carefully monitored by admin. Users may be asked to re phrase their comments or questions if it comes across as insensitive or harsh. You must be signed in to contribute. Click here to register.

There are two major rules enforced:

  1. Be respectful
    Our aim is to be a place where intended parents and surrogates can get unbiased information about surrogacy in peace. Please refrain from judging others or criticising their choices. Our admin will follow closely and delete any disrespectful comments.
  2. Respect each other's privacy
    Being part of this community requires mutual trust. Authentic and honest discussions will make this forum amazing, but many things said might be private and sensitive.

What's shared here should stay here.

How the Forum works:

  1. Users can earn points:
    • 5 points for starting a conversation that is relevant to surrogacy (limited to one question a day users can ask more questions but they just get 5 points for one)
    • Awarding 5 points for answering a question AND getting a "like". Every additional "like" the person gets earns them 1 additional point.
    • Every week, all users are awarded 5 likes to distribute as they choose. The likes don't roll over so it's just 5 likes a week that they can distribute.
  2. Once a user earns 100 points, we get notified and you'll receive a $100 amazon gift card.
  3. Getting a certain number of points will get you the rank of "experienced surrogate" or "experienced intended parent".


The Biggest Ask Forums For Surrogates Feeling Stressed Reply To: Feeling Stressed

  • Aostoff

    January 10, 2023 at 9:04 pm

    Hi Ashley,

    I am so sorry you are feeling this way. I do think you aren’t alone in this. I think it’s very common for surrogates to just want to help so badly and forget to stand up for themselves or make sure to protect themselves.

    I am curious if there is anything in your contract that you could re-evaluate about the insurance premium. I definitely think you should be reimbursed for the premium being so much higher than the policy you previously had.

    As far as everything else – I definitely don’t think you should feel badly about letting your IPs know that things are stressful for you right now and even getting into specifics with them. It isn’t an attack on them or your journey, just simply getting all the feelings out. And I honestly think it could be better for all of you in the long run for communicating. Please don’t hesitate to reach out more if you need more help! We are all here for you and so hopeful it can only get better from here for you! <3