Surrogates - The Biggest Ask

Slide 1

Surrogates are amazing women.

Learn what it takes here.

Becoming a surrogate for another family is a very big decision. When you sign up with The Biggest Ask, you will have access to all the resources you will need to familiarize yourself with the surrogacy process – including all the requirements to become a surrogate and all the risks associated with surrogacy.

Start with Our Free Online Guide

"It's hard to put into words the feeling you get from helping another family come to life."

-Ashley Montez, experienced surrogate

Slide 1

Surrogates are amazing women.

Learn what it takes here.

Becoming a surrogate for another family is a very big decision. When you sign up with The Biggest Ask, you will have access to all the resources you will need to familiarize yourself with the surrogacy process – including all the requirements to become a surrogate and all the risks associated with surrogacy.

Becoming a surrogate for another family is a very big decision. When you sign up with The Biggest Ask, you will have access to all the resources you will need to familiarize yourself with the surrogacy process – including all the requirements to become a surrogate and all the risks associated with surrogacy.

Becoming a surrogate for another family is a very big decision. When you sign up with The Biggest Ask, you will have access to all the resources you will need to familiarize yourself with the surrogacy process – including all the requirements to become a surrogate and all the risks associated with surrogacy.

Start with Our Free Online Guide

"It's hard to put into words the feeling you get from helping another family come to life."

-Ashley Montez, experienced surrogate

What does The Biggest Ask offer to women who are

thinking about becoming a surrogate?

Empower yourself with knowledge to make the best decisions for yourself and connect with others who share your story

Surrogacy 101 Panel Discussion

Could you be a surrogate?

Learn what it takes in our panel discussion
led by experienced surrogates!

DEC 7H/2021

Follow us and stay connected!

Follow us on Instagram to stay connected and participate in live events with other surrogates!

Meet some Intended Parents

Join our Free Wednesday Support Calls

Voices of gestational carriers

Surrogate of the month

I loved so much about my surrogacy journey,
but my most favorite part was seeing my
intended parents with their new baby and knowing that I helped make that moment possible.

Jennifer is a wife mama, previous surrogate, & a nurse practitioner!

@sltsurrogacy_journey

Follow us on Instagram and stay updated on our latest posts

thebiggestask

😂 Instead of throwing the bread, throwing the 💸💸💸 #surrogacy

There's so much about surrogacy that is not clear

There's so much about surrogacy that is not clear cut. Today our example is the ASRM guideline that intended parents should not pursue 2 journeys at the same time. Remember ASRM guidelines are guidelines and not the absolute rule. Whereas some of the other guidelines seem pretty reasonable to everyone , such as "a history of at least one previous successful pregnancy", this one may not seem as clear cut to some. ⁣
In both slides we present some of the arguments for yes and the arguments for no. What do you think? 👇
#surrogacy #asrmguidelines

Not really but you get it 😂 #surrogacy

Not really but you get it 😂 #surrogacy

Sometimes you know right away that surrogacy is ri

Sometimes you know right away that surrogacy is right for you. But many times, you don't. There's always a "what if ?" question in the back of your mind:⁣
What if we transfer an embryo one more time?
What if we try to conceive naturally and I hope for a safe pregnancy?
What if we adopt?
What if we just don't have children?
All of these options are valid. And all involve sacrifices and their own set of potential challenges. Just like surrogacy, if surrogacy is the route that you choose.
The decision to commit to surrogacy is a big one. And we all get there in different ways, different timelines and different experiences. At what point did you decide that surrogacy was right for you? 👇
#surrogacyjourney #intendedparents #surrogacy #surrogacyprocess

🚨There are many reasons to use a surrogate that

🚨There are many reasons to use a surrogate that may not be on this post. The information used to put this post together came from one of the very few studies of gestational carrier cycles one can find:⁣
Perkins et al. 2016. "Trends and outcomes of gestational surrogacy in the United States". Fertility and Sterility Vol 106, No. 2.
Here is an excerpt from page 437 of the article:
"Infertility diagnosis varied between gestational and nongestational carrier cycles. Close to half (46.6%) of gestational carrier cycles had ‘‘other’’ reported for infertility diagnosis. However, of these 6,842 cycles, only 701 (10.3%) had a free text diagnosis entered, with most (n =359, 47.3%) only noting the use of a gestational carrier, 11.6% reporting other nonspecific reasons (i.e., family balancing, previous failed ART cycles), 10.5% reporting male same-sex couples or absence of a female partner, 9.5% reporting advanced maternal age, 9.4% reporting medical conditions that make pregnancy unsafe (i.e., kidney disease, cardiac disease), 6.3% reporting reasons compatible with uterine factor infertility (i.e., hysterectomy, Asherman's syndrome), 2.9% reporting recurrent pregnancy loss, 1.7% reporting a history of pregnancy complications (i.e., Hemolysis, Elevated Liver enzymes, Low Platelet count [HELLP] syndrome), and 0.8% reporting genetic issues. Diminished ovarian reserve (31.5%) and uterine factor infertility (26.6%) were the second most common infertility diagnoses reported among gestational carrier cycles. The most common infertility diagnoses reported among nongestational carrier cycles were male factor (35.4%) and diminished ovarian reserve (27.7%)."
#surrogacy

You don't have to be a parent via surrogacy to lov

You don't have to be a parent via surrogacy to love your child unconditionally. But the struggle intended parents go through to get their children earthside stays with them forever. Sometimes I look at Enzo during his temper tantrums in the middle of the kitchen floor - and although I am at a complete loss of what to do to calm him down - I always remember how I felt years ago when this moment seemed like it would never happen for me. Yes I get stressed, and yes I don't always respond in the best way, but I never feel sorry for myself or wish things were different. The trauma that led me to surrogacy in the first place shows up different now that Enzo and Laurent are here. Instead of gnawing at my soul or making me feel "less than", it reminds me how lucky I am. How I have everything that I really need right in front of me ❤️⁣
#surrogacy

Our surrogate of the month for September is our se

Our surrogate of the month for September is our second surrogate, Lauren @lobrazier ❤️ I've shared our story a few times, but Lauren and I met through a mutual friend, Erin. I met Erin through Bumble shortly after losing Luca and Erin has become one of my closest friends. During the summer of 2021, I mentioned to her that we would be looking for another surrogate. Erin texted everyone who she thought might be interested and Lauren was one of those women. It still blows my mind how lucky we were to find Lauren. And how quickly we were able to cross all those milestones.⁣
I've talked before how amazing Lauren was/is. During her pregnancy with Laurent, she changed jobs, her husband changed jobs which required more travel, her mother-in-law was diagnosed with cancer, her two girls got the flu, RSV, strep throat, which meant that she got all those things, too. And her birthing experience wasn't smooth either, given that her epidural was initially misplaced 🫠😑
I can never repay Lauren for completing our family, like I can never repay Jennifer for starting ours. And that's what surrogacy is all about ❤️
#surrogacy

I thought he said “It shakes worse when you smil

I thought he said “It shakes worse when you smile” and even tho that’s not what he’s saying, that resonated with me 😂❤️
#surrogacy

Introducing our new line-up!! Over the past year,

Introducing our new line-up!! Over the past year, these women have continually showed up for our intended parent community and I'm so grateful. For the remainder of the year, I'm so happy to formally introduce Jen as an official host. If you've ever been to our calls, chances are that you have heard her share her story or share some advice. Please welcome her to our line up ❤️❤️ Maggie and Danielle are so graciously continuing their hosting roles for the next few months ahead ❤️⁣
These weekly support calls are audio-based, free and on zoom. Use the link in bio to sign up so that you can get the zoom link that we always use. Note, you do NOT have to sign up every week. The link is the same link we always use 🙂
I do not always host these sessions because 1) sometimes life gets in the way, but 2) I think it is SO important that we have the session led by people with different journeys to surrogacy. Swipe to read about their paths to surrogacy.
As always, you can sign up and decide last minute that you can't make it. No worries. There's no expectation that you attend or that you talk. If you want to attend just to listen in, that's great, too!
#menhavingbabies #lovemakesafamily #gayfamily #lgbtfamily #twodads #cancersurvivor #cancerwarrior #ovariancancer #heartdisease #autoimmunewarrior #hysterectomy #mrkh #fibroids #ashermanssyndrome #preeclampsia #infantloss #birthtrauma #stillbirth #stillborn #pregnancyloss #miscarriagesurvivor #babyloss #unexplainedinfertility #pcos #ttctribe #infertilitywarrior #infertilityjourney #ivfjourney #ttccommunity #surrogacy

Elaine and William Ratner are experienced IPs livi

Elaine and William Ratner are experienced IPs living in Newport Coast, California🏄‍♂️and they are looking for a surrogate.⁣
Elaine was misdiagnosed by a doctor and ultimately lost both of her fallopian tubes. After 5 rounds of IVF, she and William decided that they needed a surrogate to expand their family. Elaine and William have asked The Biggest Ask to help manage their journey! ❤️
Click the link in bio to learn more about them!
Even if you can't be their surrogate, you can still help! Please share this post to be entered into our giveaway for a $25 Amazon gift card! *Please note, gift cards will be sent over the weekend*
To enter the giveaway, do the following:
1. Share this post and TAG @thebiggestask
2. Comment on this post with the hashtag #thebiggestask and some words of encouragement
3. Make sure you do #1 and #2 by tomorrow, September 12th @ 11am central

There is no such thing as "set it and forget it" i

There is no such thing as "set it and forget it" in surrogacy. There is always worry. There is always guilt. And there's always a feeling that something bad is right around the corner, no matter how many obstacles you have overcome. Our path to surrogacy is paved with trauma and that history haunts us throughout the experience. While we want to let our feelings go and just hope for the best, it's not possible. Joining us on the train is our partner, our support system and of course our surrogate. We all feel the hope and fear along the ride and what's beautiful is that we experience them all together as one big team. ⁣
Sending you so much positive energy if you're on the part of the journey that is speeding down ❤️and if you're on the part of the journey that is trekking slowly uphill - take a moment to look at your surroundings and enjoy the view🌟

#surrogacy #surrogacyjourney #surrogacyislove #surrogate #gestationalcarrier #intendedparents #intendedmother #intendedfather #surrogatemother #surrogacyrocks #proudsurrogate #surrogatebaby #surrobaby #infertility #ivf #ivfjourney #ivfcommunity #ivftribe #cancersucks #hysterectomy #preeclampsia #menhavingbabies #singledad #lovemakesafamily #gayfamily #husbands #lgbtfamily #twodads #raindbowfamily #gaydadsofinstagram

True.⁣ If you’re thinking about becoming a ges

True.⁣
If you’re thinking about becoming a gestational surrogate, it’s important to know that your gestational surrogate pregnancy will be riskier than the natural pregnancy or pregnancies that you’ve had before.
Compared to normal pregnancies, IVF pregnancies are also:
• More likely to birth multiples (twins or triplets)
• More likely to end early because babies conceived through IVF have a higher chance of being born early
• More likely to cause preeclampsia (i.e., high blood pressure)
• More likely to experience bleeding in their first trimester
• Twice as likely to birth IVF singletons prematurely, compared to naturally conceived singleton birth
#surrogacy

We are back!! While Ashley @surrogacyofhope takes

We are back!! While Ashley <a class='bp-suggestions-mention' href='https://thebiggestask.com/members/surrogacyofhope/' rel='nofollow'>@surrogacyofhope</a> takes her leave to recover from her birth, we have Kerry filling in for her tonight! This is not Kerry's first rodeo - she's frequently on the calls and has been helping other surrogates for a while. ⁣
If you're thinking about becoming a surrogate or are currently a surrogate - please feel free to join us! To sign up, see our link in bio. All surrogates are welcome - independent or agency-managed ❤️
Next week, we have Kenedi @stop.sit.surrogate ❤️❤️❤️
Link in bio to register and get the link!
#surrogacy #surrogates

The emotional toll of surrogacy is real. Surrogacy

The emotional toll of surrogacy is real. Surrogacy is different, without much of a precedent. We don't really know how to deal with so many of our emotions because we lack a role model or a society that helps us through it. ⁣
Here are some thoughts that I had during the journey and I'm willing to bet that many of you had some very similar ones. No matter where you are at during the journey, know that you are not alone. The process is hard, with some days worse than others. ❤️

#cancersurvivor #cancerwarrior #fightcancer #ovariancancer #heartdisease #autoimmunewarrior #hysterectomy #hysterectomyrecovery #mrkh #fibroids #adenomyosis #preeclampsia #infantloss #birthtrauma #stillbirth #pregnancyafterloss #stillborn #pregnancyloss #1in4 #miscarriagesurvivor #stillbornstillloved #babyloss #pcos #1in8 #ivfcommunity #ttctribe #infertilitywarrior #infertilityjourney #ivfjourney #ivf

We think about the surrogacy agency, the surrogate

We think about the surrogacy agency, the surrogate compensation, and the medical insurance aspects of the journey, but there are some other things that might surprise you.⁣
If you haven't created embryos and you know you'll need a surrogate to complete your family, I *strongly* suggest that you interview different fertility clinics. They are not all the same and many charge different prices for different things. Ashley (<a class='bp-suggestions-mention' href='https://thebiggestask.com/members/surrogacyofhope/' rel='nofollow'>@surrogacyofhope</a>) randomly called clinics from Minnesota, Georgia, California, Florida, Tennessee and Oregon to ask how much a frozen embryo transfer to a gestational carrier would cost and the prices ranged from $3,000 to $18,000.
Items 1-3 are things you can ask your fertility clinic. Items 4&5 are decided in the contract. Something interesting to note is that if the surrogate has a relatively higher paying job, the chances that her insurance covers her surrogate pregnancy are higher (which is great from a medical insurance perspective), but if something happens during the pregnancy and she can't work, her lost wages are also going to be higher. It can be a double-edged sword. Finally, item 6 comes after the contract is signed. Do you really need one? Stay tuned on a post about that as well 📝
Did we miss anything? What expense surprised you the most during your surrogacy journey? Comment below 👇
#surrogacy #surrogacycosts #surrogacyjourney #surrogacyislove #surrogate #gestationalcarrier #intendedmother #intendedfather #surrogatemother #surrogatebaby #surrolife #surromama #surrobaby #rainbowbaby #ivf #ivfjourney #ivfcommunity #ivftribe #cancersucks #hysterectomy #preeclampsia #menhavingbabies #singledad #lovemakesafamily #gayfamily #husbands #lgbtfamily #twodads #raindbowfamily #gaydadsofinstagram

Join us on Sunday, September 10th at 2 pm central

Join us on Sunday, September 10th at 2 pm central for a one hour webinar course about surrogacy. Here are some topics we will cover:
* timeline of surrogacy milestones
* how to find your surrogacy partner
* pros/cons to using a surrogacy agency
* essential surrogacy professionals you need and what you need them for
* how does medical insurance work in surrogacy journeys
* common contract terms
The webinar will be on zoom. Feel free to join, video/audio off or on - up to you 🙂 Just make sure you register so you have the link! See link in bio "Surrogacy 101" to register!
Since we still have some time before our webinar, is there anything you want us to talk about? Let us know below! 👇
#surrogacy

Surrogacy is so overwhelming that sometimes it's j

Surrogacy is so overwhelming that sometimes it's just not possible to know what kinds of questions to ask. IVF is a process in itself and the whole thing can just be so overwhelming. Here are some things that I didn't even think about asking when considering fertility clinics!
Did we miss anything? Tell us below! 👇

#surrogacy #surrogacyjourney #gestationalsurrogate #gestationalcarrier #surrogacysupport #surrogacyawareness #surrogacycommunity #surrogacycosts #fertilityclinics #menhavingbabies #singledad #lovemakesafamily #gayfamily #husbands #lgbtfamily #twodads #raindbowfamily #gaydadsofinstagram #unexplainedinfertility #pcos #1in8 #ivfcommunity #ttctribe #infertilitywarrior #infertilityjourney #ivfjourney #ivf #ttccommunity

Haters will say he was forced to run to me 😂 Bu

Haters will say he was forced to run to me 😂 But seriously one of my fave life moments ❤️ #surrogacy

“Being a surrogate, there are so many things tha

“Being a surrogate, there are so many things that come into play before you ever even carry that little embryo(s) in your stomach. The biggest one being your compassion and drive to help others.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
I have always been a helper - I enjoy helping others when they need me. I'd give the shirt off my back for anyone who needed it. Which I think definitely helped in making my decision to become a surrogate.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Yes, carrying a child for someone is a huge deal, but the heart and compassion of why a surrogate has chosen to carry that child, holds so much more worth.”
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
-Ashley, <a class='bp-suggestions-mention' href='https://thebiggestask.com/members/surrogacyofhope/' rel='nofollow'>@surrogacyofhope</a>

As intended parents, our paths to surrogacy all lo

As intended parents, our paths to surrogacy all look different. For example, some of us are cancer survivors, some of us lost our uterus after a traumatic birth experience. Some of us have come to surrogacy after trying so many times to carry our own child and losing them. There are so many different paths to surrogacy and although all of our paths look different - there's something that unites us all - we were part of the small statistic of something not working out fine.
Being part of that small statistic means that when we hear that things end up working out "most of the time", we immediately group ourselves into the "times when things don't work out". So when good things do start to happen, we immediately think that it will be short-lived and an impending doom is right around the corner. When we hear the phrase, "Don't worry. Everything will work out fine.", we don't internalize any of it, because we have heard that phrase before and well, things didn't turn out fine.

That doesn't end when you have a surrogate. Although your surrogate might be optimistic about meeting milestones, you still carry that history of grief, loss and bad news. It is hard to sit back and enjoy.

We talked about these issues in our support group on Tuesday. It's hard to overcome those feelings, but here are a few things that were brought up to help: 1) realize that you have a choice and feeling worried now won't help ease the pain if things don't work out, 2) realize that if something bad does happen, you will survive it just as you survived before.

What are some of your coping mechanisms with dealing with uncertainty during your surrogacy journey?

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