Surrogates – The Biggest Ask

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Surrogates are amazing women.

Learn what it takes here.

Becoming a surrogate for another family is a very big decision. When you sign up with The Biggest Ask, you will have access to all the resources you will need to familiarize yourself with the surrogacy process – including all the requirements to become a surrogate and all the risks associated with surrogacy.

Start with Our Free Online Guide

"It's hard to put into words the feeling you get from helping another family come to life."

-Ashley Montez, experienced surrogate

Slide 1

Surrogates are amazing women.

Learn what it takes here.

Becoming a surrogate for another family is a very big decision. When you sign up with The Biggest Ask, you will have access to all the resources you will need to familiarize yourself with the surrogacy process – including all the requirements to become a surrogate and all the risks associated with surrogacy.

Becoming a surrogate for another family is a very big decision. When you sign up with The Biggest Ask, you will have access to all the resources you will need to familiarize yourself with the surrogacy process – including all the requirements to become a surrogate and all the risks associated with surrogacy.

Becoming a surrogate for another family is a very big decision. When you sign up with The Biggest Ask, you will have access to all the resources you will need to familiarize yourself with the surrogacy process – including all the requirements to become a surrogate and all the risks associated with surrogacy.

Start with Our Free Online Guide

"It's hard to put into words the feeling you get from helping another family come to life."

-Ashley Montez, experienced surrogate

What does The Biggest Ask offer to women who are

thinking about becoming a surrogate?

Empower yourself with knowledge to make the best decisions for yourself and connect with others who share your story

Surrogacy 101 Panel Discussion

Could you be a surrogate?

Learn what it takes in our panel discussion
led by experienced surrogates!

DEC 7H/2021

Follow us and stay connected!

Follow us on Instagram to stay connected and participate in live events with other surrogates!

Antonio and Benedetto

Our Story We are a gay couple (34 & 30) with a beautiful daughter and two sweet dogs. We are from Italy and live

Aostoff June 20, 2022

Meet some Intended Parents

Erika is a military wife, mama to two kids, and has done THREE surrogacy journeys!

Q: Tell us a bit about yourself! A: I am from California currently living in San Diego where my husband is stationed. I am married

Ashley March 30, 2022

Surrogate Stories

What Surrogacy Means to Me

After a long night of labor and a herculean push I became a mother. The joy that I felt after they placed my child on

Tara December 13, 2021

Voices of gestational carriers

Surrogate of the month

Seeing the look on the parent's faces as they
held their babies for the first time is an
absolute gift, they are moments
that I treasure.

Erika is a military wife, mama to two kids, and has done THREE surrogacy journeys; in 2018, 2020, and 2022.

@adventures_in_surrogacy

Follow us on Instagram and stay updated on our latest posts

thebiggestask

We posted a question box awhile back asking intend

We posted a question box awhile back asking intended parents to tell us three words they would use to describe their surrogate. It was so uplifting to see all the words IPs used, you can just see the love, the appreciation, and the closeness in these words. 😭😍
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These people oftentimes start as strangers and this journey brings them to become close friends or family most times. Surrogacy is just so damn beautiful. 🤩
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#surrogacy #surrogacyjourney #surrogacyislove #surrogate #gestationalcarrier #intendedparents #intendedmother #intendedfather #surrogatemother #surrogacyrocks #proudsurrogate #surrogatebaby #surrolife #surromama #surrobaby #rainbowbaby #birthstory #infertility #ivf #ivfjourney #ivfcommunity #ivftribe #infertilityawareness #trauma #cancersucks #hysterectomy #preeclampsia #postpartum #pregnancy #momlife

You probably didn't know that your fertility clini

You probably didn't know that your fertility clinic is probably reporting their success rates online. When you have options to choose from, this might be useful information for you to make your selection. It might also be a useful tool to help guide your interview with your fertility clinic.
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If you want to review your fertility clinic success rates and learn the chances that you (or your GC) may miscarry (you can filter on all types of conditions - egg donors, PGT, fresh vs. frozen), check this link out:
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https://www.sartcorsonline.com/members/Search
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#menhavingbabies #singledad #husbands #lgbtfamily #twodads #gaydadsofinstagram #cancersurvivors #cancerwarrior #heartdisease #autoimmunewarrior #hysterectomy #hysterectomysurvivor #preeclampsia #infantloss #birthtrauma #stillbirth #pregnancyafterloss #stillborn #pregnancyloss #1in4 #miscarriagesurvivor #pregnancylossawareness #stillbornstillloved #babyloss #ivfjourney #infertility #ttc #surrogacy #surrogacyjourney

You probably didn't know that The Biggest Ask webs

You probably didn't know that The Biggest Ask website is built on a Facebook-like platform. When you sign up with The Biggest Ask, you can send messages to other users, create private groups and ask the community your surrogacy-related questions.

Over the past few months, I have made some tweaks to how the forum works. Now, when you interact with the forum (either by asking a question or answering a question), you can earn points. When you get to 100 points, I'll send you an amazon gift card 💵

🤔Why use this platform instead of a surrogacy-related Facebook group?

For one, we are a community. Ashley and I interact with many of you and we have respect for you. You won't receive nasty comments from us, and if anyone tries to get at you, we will shut them down (nicely).

Second, it's not possible to earn prizes on Facebook groups. Many of you have precious experience to share - why not get rewarded for it?

Third, the search function on Facebook is notoriously terrible. Not with BuddyBoss (the platform on which The Biggest Ask is built). As the forum (hopefully) grows, you can use the search function to more efficiently get to your answer and read experiences.

This is our new offering and we hope it grows. The best way for it to become successful is for you to share this resource to anyone you think might be interested in surrogacy. And if you have any issues, problems, recommendations - please let me know ASAP.

Let's work together to create a welcoming, informative and satisfying resource to anyone drawn to surrogacy ❤️

To use the forum, just make sure you sign up with The Biggest Ask and click the menu title "Community".

Surrogates are strong AF. You can't convince me ot

Surrogates are strong AF. You can't convince me otherwise. Everything that a surrogate goes through just to simply become a surrogate shows strength. It's truly a commitment.

There are few other times in life when someone will commit so much of themselves to another human being. How often do you hear about a woman who goes through health history evaluations, background checks, psych evaluations, pap smears, ultrasounds, countless emails, countless forms, extensive legal contracts, needle pokes, pills, pregnancy, delivering a child, and sometimes court FOR. SOMEONE. ELSE. other than for surrogacy? 💪

That makes me tear up just to type out. Surrogates put their body, their mind, their soul into helping create another person's family and that is so STRONG, so beautiful, SO incredible.❤️

#surrogacy #surrogacyjourney #surrogacyislove #surrogate #gestationalcarrier #intendedparents #intendedmother #intendedfather #surrogatemother #surrogacyrocks #proudsurrogate #surrogatebaby #surrolife #surromama #surrobaby #rainbowbaby #birthstory #infertility #ivf #ivfjourney #ivfcommunity #ivftribe #infertilityawareness #trauma #cancersucks #hysterectomy #preeclampsia #postpartum #pregnancy #momlife

In honor of our 2nd embryo transfer, I thought I w

In honor of our 2nd embryo transfer, I thought I would do a post to recap how we got here. Women don't turn to surrogacy to avoid getting fat or childbirth. They turn to surrogacy because they have lived through something that prevents them from safely carrying a child.
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My story involves infant loss and preeclampsia. I carried our first son, Luca, for 6 full months. At a routine ultrasound, they discovered Luca was alarmingly small. I was immediately admitted to the hospital for an indefinite stay, developed severe pre-eclampsia a few days later and Luca was delivered via emergency c-section one week later. He survived 12 days in the NICU before passing away.
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I had never lived through a more tumultuous 6 weeks in my life. Perhaps it's an indication of how blessed I had been so far in my life, but suddenly it felt like a terrible surprise was awaiting me at every turn. I couldn't catch a breath.
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And when Luca died, it didn't stop.
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I went to sleep every night thinking I wouldn't wake up in the morning. I was suffering through depression and PTSD.
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This is the experience that led me to surrogacy.
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Although my story is unique to me, many of you have also lived through something traumatic and are thinking about surrogacy as your option.
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Some of you are cancer survivors, some of you lost your uterus when you gave birth to your child, some of you have a dangerous heart condition. Your path to surrogacy has not been easy and I’m here to tell you that I know ❤️
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To all the IPs out there looking to grow your family via surrogacy – I may have not lived through your trauma, but I respect and honor your story.
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To all the women out there wanting to help – you are all my personal heroes.

Circle Surrogacy Interview with Sam Hyde ✨ #sur

Circle Surrogacy Interview with Sam Hyde ✨

#surrogacy #surrogacyjourney #surrogacyislove #surrogate #gestationalcarrier #intendedparents #intendedmother #intendedfather #surrogatemother #surrogacyrocks #proudsurrogate #surrogatebaby #surrolife #surromama #surrobaby #rainbowbaby #birthstory #infertility #ivf #ivfjourney #ivfcommunity #ivftribe #infertilityawareness #trauma #cancersucks #hysterectomy #preeclampsia #postpartum #pregnancy #momlife

There are so many ways to include your intended pa

There are so many ways to include your intended parents in their journey to a baby during a surrogacy journey. These are just a few ideas!

It is always so special and so appreciated to incorporate your intended parents in the journey - they have been through so much to get to this point and they are already missing so much of THEIR pregnancy. So, finding small ways to help them feel included is really the least we can do.

Think about what you'd want to know about your pregnancy - update them about every little detail, hiccup, kick, bump pictures, appointments, cravings, etc. It takes only a couple seconds and it means the world. ❤️

#surrogacy #surrogacyjourney #surrogacyadventure #surrogacyislove #surrogacyisnotacrime #gestationalsurrogate #gestationalcarrier #surrogacysupport #surrogacyawareness #surrogacystories #surrogacycommunity

We say this a lot, but that is only because it is

We say this a lot, but that is only because it is ✨TRUE✨ Surrogates do NOT want to keep the baby, period, point blank.

Surrogates go into this journey knowing full well what they are doing - carrying a baby that isn't theirs to grow and safely deliver into the arms of the rightful parent(s).

We've spoken with MANY surrogates, and the most common answer about their favorite part of the journey is when you get to see your intended parents with their long-awaited baby in their arms. THAT is why surrogates do this - definitely not because they want to keep the baby!

#menhavingbabies #singledad #husbands #lgbtfamily #twodads #gaydadsofinstagram #cancersurvivors #cancerwarrior #heartdisease #autoimmunewarrior #hysterectomy #hysterectomysurvivor #preeclampsia #infantloss #birthtrauma #stillbirth #pregnancyafterloss #stillborn #pregnancyloss #1in4 #miscarriagesurvivor #pregnancylossawareness #stillbornstillloved #babyloss #ivfjourney #infertility #ttc #surrogacy #surrogacyjourney

Antonio & Benedetto have been through a surrogacy

Antonio & Benedetto have been through a surrogacy journey for their first daughter, but are now hopeful to give her a sibling or two ❤️ They are extremely sweet and so in love with their baby girl. Antonio & Benedetto are looking for a surrogate willing to have a close relationship and willing to do a DET (double embryo transfer).

Swipe to read their full story! ✨ If you are interested in reaching out to Antonio & Benedetto, send them a DM @antonio__pala

#surrogacy #surrogacyjourney #gestationalsurrogate #gestationalcarrier #surrogacysupport #surrogacyawareness #surrogacystories #surrogacycommunity #surrogate #twodads #gestationalcarrier #kindness #bravotv #surrogacyjourney #parentingtips #momlife #naturalbirth #doulasupport #eggdonation #surrogacyislove #surrogatemother #pregnantbelly #militarywife #pride2022 #lgbt #lgbtpride #loveislove #lgbtqia

This statistic was calculated in 2015-2016 accordi

This statistic was calculated in 2015-2016 according to this study here:

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5159232/

But this statistic might be changing. From an unnamed source, I learned that the number of independent journeys is increasing. Some reasons why independent journeys are on the rise:

1. IPs are less ashamed to share their story (yay!)
2. Gestational carriers and IPs are finding each other on social media.
3. Gestational carriers are meeting other gestational carriers online and supporting each other.

But this doesn't mean agencies are going away any time soon. There's lots of value to using surrogacy agencies, for both IPS and especially gestational carriers.

What do you think? Agency or independent? Comment below 👇

#surrogate #twodads #loveislove #gestationalcarrier #kindness #bravotv #surrogacyjourney #fostercare #parentingtips #momlife #naturalbirth #doulasupport #eggdonation #surrogacyislove #surrogatemother #pregnantbelly #fostermom #fosterparent #militarywife #militarywifelife #sahmlife #sahmlifestyle #nicunurse

3.5 months later and we're back shooting our shot!

3.5 months later and we're back shooting our shot! The day was as lovely as can be, just like it was last time. Full of love, optimism and excitement. For the first time ever, Seth was able to be in the room during the actual transfer itself ❤️

The chosen embryo was a 4aa - as perfect as possible according to the fertility doctor today! But that's what they said last time with our frozen, PGS-normal 6aa embryo, too. And that didn't work out. Still, I appreciate the optimism because honestly - why not? The alternative does not make the situation any better.

Seeing Lauren was such a treat, as it always is ❤️ We learned something new about her as we waited for the transfer to happen that was hilarious and unusual. I think we are getting more comfortable around each other, and I'm learning more about the things she's into and what she likes (her love language is "Acts of Service" - which is mine too - side note: if you haven't taken the Love Language quiz, you should - it's so useful!). I made almond cookies for her last night and brought about 3 boxes of pregnancy tests 😂I left it with her to make the decision to test before beta. So far, it looks like she will start testing on Saturday. 🤞

All in all a great day! A day of hope, accomplishment and second (or third, or fourth or 50th) chances.

#embryotransfer #surrogacy #ttc #pregnancy #baby #fet #embryo #cancerwarrior #heartdisease #autoimmunewarrior #hysterectomy #preeclampsia #infantloss #birthtrauma #stillbirth #pregnancyafterloss #pregnancyloss #babyloss #ivfjourney #infertility #pride2022 #momlife #nicumom #gestationalcarrier #freshembryotransfer

I hated being pregnant. There I said it. I was pro

I hated being pregnant. There I said it. I was promised glowing skin, vibrant energy (in the second trimester at least) and an incredible bonding experience with my unborn child. Instead, I got debilitating nausea that never went away, a 6 month sentence to my couch or bed and a baby too small to feel. Pregnancy stole my life for 6 months. And the worst part of it all, I didn't even get to bring a baby home.

Asking me to get pregnant again is a nonstarter. I probably can, but I won't. My story isn't one of infertility, but I, too, have been robbed of a body that is "supposed" to work. Whereas many others in the infertility community want nothing more than to get pregnant, I want nothing less. Pregnancy was not beautiful for me. It was my worst experience.

This is my "why" for surrogacy. Surrogacy not only saves me from the physical pain of pregnancy but also the mental anguish. Asking me to get pregnant is asking me to sacrifice months of me getting to live my life AND living in constant fear that my sacrifices won't be worth it in the end. If the doctors could assure me that whatever child I carried would live, would I get pregnant again? Probably - but they can't, and I deserve more than to live a huge chunk of my life living in constant misery and fear. Whereas pregnancy is my worst nightmare, surrogacy is my biggest blessing.

#pregnancy #pregnancyjourney #25weeks #hyperemesis #nicumom #preemie #preeclampsia #infantloss #birthtrauma #stillbirth #pregnancyafterloss #stillborn #pregnancyloss #miscarriagesurvivor #pregnancylossawareness #babyloss #ivfjourney #infertility #ttc #surrogacy #surrogacyjourney #cancersurvivors #cancerwarrior #heartdisease #autoimmunewarrior #hysterectomy #hysterectomysurvivor

Bright Futures Families Interview with Jennifer Wh

Bright Futures Families Interview with Jennifer White ✨

#surrogacy #surrogacyjourney #surrogacyislove #surrogate #gestationalcarrier #intendedparents #intendedmother #intendedfather #surrogatemother #surrogacyrocks #proudsurrogate #surrogatebaby #surrolife #surromama #surrobaby #rainbowbaby #birthstory #infertility #ivf #ivfjourney #ivfcommunity #ivftribe #infertilityawareness #trauma #cancersucks #hysterectomy #preeclampsia #postpartum #pregnancy #momlife

These are some of the questions we feel it is impo

These are some of the questions we feel it is important for intended parents to ask during a match call for an independent journey. We realize there is quite a bit of questions, but it is so important to make sure that the match is right for you and for the surrogate. No question is too big or too small in our opinion.
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Most of the bigger questions are so important to ask right off the bat so you don't find yourself further into the journey with your surrogate partner and realize that it may be a dealbreaker for one of you. As awkward and difficult as some of the questions are - they are a must.
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Hope this helps! 🤩 Did we miss any? Let us know below 👇
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#menhavingbabies #singledad #husbands #lgbtfamily #twodads #gaydadsofinstagram #cancerwarrior #heartdisease #autoimmunewarrior #hysterectomy #birthtrauma #pregnancyafterloss #pregnancyloss #pregnancylossawareness #stillbornstillloved #babyloss #ivfjourney #infertility #ttc #surrogacy #surrogacyjourney #surrogacy #pridemonth2022 #pridemonth #love #equality #inclusion #lgbt #loveislove #pride2022

We know it can be hard to say kind words to yourse

We know it can be hard to say kind words to yourself when you're going through something so heavy and so difficult. So, we thought we would help you out and give you a few affirmations that we think you should hear and tell yourself frequently. Start by saying them to yourself once a week if it feels too hard to do, then work yourself up slowly to once every morning. ✨

Write them on post it's and stick them to your bathroom mirror and make it apart of your morning routine. You never know, it might help you start your day with a little gratitude and love for yourself.

Remind yourself that you are worthy of hearing these affirmations, and try to find joy in where you are even if it feels impossible. ❤️

#surrogacy #surrogacyjourney #surrogacyislove #surrogate #gestationalcarrier #intendedparents #intendedmother #intendedfather #surrogatemother #surrogacyrocks #proudsurrogate #surrogatebaby #surrolife #surromama #surrobaby #rainbowbaby #birthstory #infertility #ivf #ivfjourney #ivfcommunity #ivftribe #infertilityawareness #trauma #cancersucks #hysterectomy #preeclampsia #postpartum #pregnancy #momlife

Interested in winning a $50 amazon gift card? Shar

Interested in winning a $50 amazon gift card? Share your story about why you are thinking about surrogacy as your way to a family. Click the link in bio, click the "Share your story submission form" to fill out the form and tell us your "why". All stories are welcome. We will be putting these stories together for a post in the future. Contest runs until June 24th.

#pride2022 #menhavingbabies #singledad #lgbtfamily #twodads #gaydadsofinstagram #cancerwarrior #heartdisease #autoimmunewarrior #hysterectomy #preeclampsia #infantloss #birthtrauma #stillbirth #pregnancyloss #miscarriagesurvivor #babyloss #ivfjourney #infertility #ttc #surrogacy #surrogacyjourney #mrkh #fibroids #adenomyosis #didelphys #ashermanssyndrome #diminishedovarianreserve

We often talk about how the path to surrogacy is o

We often talk about how the path to surrogacy is often paved with trauma. When you finally start a surrogacy journey, that trauma doesn't all just disappear. Every pregnancy milestone that unfolds in a surrogacy journey is always preceded by a fear of something going wrong. "Will we hear the baby's heartbeat?", "Will they find a fatal defect in our anatomy scan?" "Will something go wrong with the placenta?"

Perhaps you always knew that surrogacy was going to be your path to a child. It still doesn't mean that it is easy for you. Perhaps society doesn't conventionally think you should have children. Perhaps during health class, you felt different from others because you didn't have a uterus. Pursuing surrogacy still means that you are doing something different - and many times doing something different stems from a life experience that we have lived through.

#pride2022 #menhavingbabies #singledad #lgbtfamily #twodads #gaydadsofinstagram #cancersurvivors #cancerwarrior #heartdisease #autoimmunewarrior #hysterectomy #hysterectomysurvivor #preeclampsia #infantloss #birthtrauma #stillbirth #pregnancyafterloss #stillborn #pregnancyloss #1in4 #miscarriagesurvivor #pregnancylossawareness #stillbornstillloved #babyloss #ivfjourney #infertility #ttc #surrogacy #surrogacyjourney

The reason why I started this account was so I cou

The reason why I started this account was so I could help spread information about how surrogacy works and what it's like to be an intended parent. We've had a few people reach out asking us where to even begin with a surrogacy journey, so we thought we would explain how the process has worked for us.
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By the time you start thinking about pursuing surrogacy, you've likely already been through a lot of heartbreak and disappointment. Surrogacy is relatively new and is definitely a non-traditional way of growing your family, which may make you feel overwhelmed and scared. My advice is to take it slow and set in your mind a 2-year time frame until you will have a baby in your arms. Of course a surrogacy journey can be longer or shorter depending on your situation, but not feeling rushed is key to managing this process. Everyone's journey to parenthood is different and we want to help you understand if surrogacy might be the right journey for you.
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#menhavingbabies #singledad #husbands #lgbtfamily #twodads #gaydadsofinstagram #cancersurvivors #cancerwarrior #heartdisease #autoimmunewarrior #hysterectomy #hysterectomysurvivor #preeclampsia #infantloss #birthtrauma #stillbirth #pregnancyafterloss #stillborn #pregnancyloss #1in4 #miscarriagesurvivor #pregnancylossawareness #stillbornstillloved #babyloss #ivfjourney #infertility #ttc #surrogacy #surrogacyjourney

It's no secret that surrogacy is a major commitmen

It's no secret that surrogacy is a major commitment for a woman and her family. It is time-consuming, taxing on her body, her family time, and can also be emotionally draining as well.

Let me clarify that most surrogates already have their emotions in check when it comes to the fact that they are carrying a child that isn't theirs and they will not be keeping - that isn't the hard part, the hard part is the emotions it takes when meeting a match, connecting with them, going through all the medical clearance and psych evals, and then all the hormones!

Surrogates put their heart and soul into every step of the surrogacy process to ensure that their IPs have a beautiful journey and even more so, a healthy sweet baby at the end.

Surrogacy takes an unbelievable amount of strength, and if you ask me, surrogates are pretty f*ckin' strong 💪

#surrogate #twodads #loveislove #gestationalcarrier #kindness #bravotv #surrogacyjourney #fostercare #parentingtips #momlife #naturalbirth #doulasupport #eggdonation #surrogacyislove #surrogatemother #pregnantbelly #fostermom #fosterparent #militarywife #militarywifelife #sahmlife #sahmlifestyle #nicunurse #surrogacy #surrogacyjourney #surrogacyislove #surrogate #gestationalcarrier #intendedparents

I'm so excited to announce that my step-by-step gu

I'm so excited to announce that my step-by-step guide to surrogacy in the USA is available on Amazon to purchase for $9.99. Some of you know that I am a professor in my real life, and as such, I am passionate about collecting, assimilating and sharing knowledge. In 2019, my husband and I were thrown into the world of surrogacy after I went through a traumatic pregnancy, resulting in the death of our son, Luca. To educate myself about the steps involved in surrogacy, I relied on Google searches and conversations with a few acquaintances who had completed surrogacy journeys. During that process, I wished there was a comprehensive, yet simple and straightforward resource that would help demystify surrogacy in the United States in order to help me understand what I should and should not have to pay for. In the years that followed, I have had countless conversations with surrogates, intended parents, agency owners, attorneys, insurance providers and fertility doctors and I have taken everything I learned and put it all together in this guide. This guide also features a chapter written by my close friend and partner, Ashley Ostoff, who is an experienced gestational carrier ❤️

This Kindle eBook builds on the free, online guide that we continue to offer on our website, thebiggestask.com. It is catered to intended parents and surrogates, alike, and is meant to walk you through each step of the surrogacy journey. I am so grateful for the tremendous support I have received from my users these past few years about the content we offer through the videos. Thank you and as always, I'm here if you have any questions! #pride2022 #singledad #lgbtfamily #gaydadsofinstagram #cancerwarrior #heartdisease #autoimmunewarrior #hysterectomy #preeclampsia #infantloss #birthtrauma #stillbirth #babyloss #ivf #ebook #ebookforsale #kindlebook #surrogacy #surrogacyjourney #guidebook #mrkh

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About The Biggest Ask

The Biggest Ask is a website dedicated to educating anyone interested in gestational surrogacy in the USA.

Have a question or a suggestion?

Please feel free to reach out to us at hello@thebiggestask.com