J & A
OUR STORY
We have been together for over a decade, after meeting in college through mutual friends. A had just graduated with his degree in finance, and J was just starting her degree in psychobiology. A still says it was love at first sight when J walked into the room. We hit it off right away, became best friends, and when J moved in the following summer for classes, the rest was history.
We married in 2015 in J’s hometown and had planned to celebrate again in A’s home country of Nepal, but COVID delayed that dream. We finally made it to Nepal in 2022 to celebrate with A’s family, a trip that meant so much to us. Family is deeply important to both of us, and we cannot wait to build our own, sharing traditions, making memories, and filling our home with love.
HOW WE SPEND OUR TIME
J works in health care as a psychometrist, and A works in finance as a portfolio manager and equity analyst. Outside of work, we keep busy with the things that make life feel joyful and full. We love to travel, and Disney has become a yearly must for us. We are self-described foodies, we have two affectionate dogs who go everywhere with us, and we love outdoor activities like hiking, biking, and kayaking.
At home, J enjoys tending to her flower and vegetable gardens, watching birds from the deck, and horseback riding. A enjoys exercise, yard work, and tackling DIY projects around the house. Whether we are traveling, spending time outside, working on something at home, or relaxing with our dogs, what we enjoy most is being together and making memories with the people we love.
WHAT LED US TO SURROGACY
Our decision to pursue surrogacy comes after many health challenges for J over the last few years. After several hospitalizations and a major surgery, J was diagnosed with adrenal insufficiency. This means her body cannot handle the intense stress that comes with pregnancy, making pregnancy a medical risk for both J and a baby. J even required hospitalization after our egg retrieval, which was a very scary time for both of us.
After a lot of thought and guidance from our medical team, we realized that the safest and healthiest way for us to bring a child into the world is through surrogacy. We know this path is only possible because of the extraordinary generosity of a surrogate. Carrying a child for someone else is the ultimate selfless act, and we view it as an incredible, life-changing gift.
OUR HOPES AND DREAMS FOR OUR FUTURE CHILD
Our biggest hope is that our child feels deeply loved, safe, and confident in who they are. We hope to raise them to be kind, empathetic, and resilient, and we hope to model those values ourselves as they grow. We want to be a steady support throughout their life, giving them the space and encouragement to become exactly who they are meant to be.
It is hard to put into words how excited we are to meet our child. More than anything, we are looking forward to watching their unique personality unfold, seeing what makes them laugh, discovering their passions, and experiencing the world all over again through their eyes.
OUR FAMILY AND ENVIRONMENT
We have a tight-knit and very supportive family. We work as a true team through every project, challenge, and barrier we face. J’s family lives locally and is a huge part of our daily support system. A’s family is farther away in Nepal, but distance has not changed how close we are. We stay deeply involved in each other’s lives through regular visits and constant contact.
What matters most in our home is peace, warmth, mutual respect, stability, and, of course, a lot of fun. We want our home to be a safe, low-stress environment where our child feels grounded, loved, and encouraged. We also want to prioritize joy, curiosity, and enrichment for everyone in our family.
FAMILY TRADITIONS AND VALUES
We are fortunate to have a multicultural household, blending two incredibly rich cultures. From J’s Polish roots, we love music and food, especially listening and dancing to polka and keeping up with holiday traditions. We also love honoring A’s Nepali heritage. Our calendar is filled with vibrant fall festivities centered on family blessings, lighting up the house with beautiful displays, and sharing traditional sweets.
Culture, hospitality, and deep respect for family elders are core values we hope to pass on. We want our child to grow up with pride in where they come from, surrounded by celebration, music, family, and love.
WHAT WE ARE LOOKING FOR IN A MATCH
We operate as a team, and we view our relationship with our surrogate in the same way. We are hoping for a connection built on open, honest, and consistent communication. We want to be there to support her through every step of the process, checking in regularly, sharing in the excitement of milestones, and building genuine trust and closeness over the course of the pregnancy.
We want our surrogate to know how deeply grateful we are, and we hope to be a steady, positive, and supportive presence throughout this shared experience. Our preferences include a healthy lifestyle, open communication, following ASRM guidelines, no history of recurrent miscarriage or stillbirth, and openness to termination for a medical diagnosis.
A LETTER TO OUR FUTURE SURROGATE
Dear Future Surrogate,
We know that choosing to become a surrogate is an act of profound empathy, generosity, and selflessness. We carry such a deep gratitude for you already.
The desire to become parents has been a dream that we carry with us every day. We envision a home filled with laughter, the pitter-patter of little running feet, and the beautiful chaos of raising a child.
Our hearts are completely open and ready to welcome a little one into our world, but we need an amazing partner to help make this dream a reality.
If we are fortunate enough to partner with you, we promise to stand by you every step of the way with unwavering support, open communication, and the utmost respect. We see this as a shared journey that we would be honored to navigate alongside you.
Thank you from the bottom of our hearts for your extraordinary generosity, and for considering being the one to help us start a family.
With love and hope,
A & J
EXTRA INFORMATION
- Names: J & A
- Location: Pennsylvania
- Number of embryos: 8 PGS-tested embryos
- Agency/Management Team: The Biggest Ask
- Fertility Clinic: Johns Hopkins Fertility Clinic
- Surrogate Compensation: Medium/High
- Preferences/requirements: ASRM guidelines, healthy lifestyle, open communication, no history of recurrent miscarriage or stillbirth, open to termination for medical diagnosis.
Could you be their surrogate? If you’re interested in learning more about J & A, send us an email at ashley@thebiggestask.com with the subject line “J & A”.