P & A
A LITTLE ABOUT US
We met in NYC when P was finishing up law school and A was starting art school (opposite’s attract I guess!). Mutual friends conspired to have us run into each other at a Brooklyn bar and it didn’t take much nudging once we met, we were quickly inseparable. Falling in love in NYC was truly a dream. We spent a bit too much time wandering Central Park, going to shows and cooking dinners and probably not quite enough time on our graduate studies. Thankfully, we both earned our degrees and after a year spent long distance while P was stationed in Japan as a Naval officer and A was teaching middle school art in Brooklyn, we decided to take the next step. A joined P in Japan and we spent 2 years traveling and falling deeper in love. In 2018, we were married at the courthouse in Yokosuka Japan, followed by a big celebration when we moved back to the U.S. the next year.
HOW WE SPEND OUR TIME
How we’ve spent our time has changed so much over the years! Earlier in our relationship we spent time exploring and traveling as much as we could. With Japan as our jumping pad, we explored much of Southeast Asia with our favorite trips being a bike trek across Vietnam, weekend ski trips in Nagano, Japan, and scuba diving in Indonesia. P is a planner and A is an adventurer so we joke that without the other, A would never get where she was trying to go, and P would get there but never leave the hotel. 🙂
P is a history bluff and avid reader. A teases him about the long historical podcasts he listens to while doing the dishes. P’s second greatest love is music he was a drummer in a funk band! A loves to be outside and on the move running is her favorite (she’s run 9 marathons!) but since she got an old cargo bike she’s been loving biking the kids around the neighborhood. When she’s sitting still, she loves drawing and painting outdoors.
P is a committed civil servent. After leaving the Navy, he joined the Department of State and remains committed to using his skills and passions for good. A is a professional artist, focusing primarily on illustrations for picture books. She has published a number of books and loves finding creative ways to tell a story. In addition to her illustration work, she teaches drawing classes around DC.
T is five and is a singularly unique individual. She’s OBSESSED with predators yup, you heard that right and knows every species of big cat that existed. She loves her rock climbing class and never met a tree she didn’t want to scale to the top of. She is bright and curious and the sweetest older sister.
R is three and is a delight. She’s obsessed with her big sister and pretends to care about predators, but really is a unicorn girl at heart. She’s got an excellent sense of humor and is loving gymnastics and swimming at the moment. She’s relaxed and easy going and will mkae a wonderful older sister.
We also have a 7yo Viszla named Frida. Her interests are mainly hunting both squirrels and food the kids drop.
HOW WE GOT TO SURROGACY
We started trying to grow our family shortly after we were married in 2018. After a miscarriage and months of negative tests, we ultimately turned to IVF due to a diagnosis of unexplained infertility.
We were so fortunate to have 3 PGT tested embryos from our IVF round. We will never forget receiving the call; we were with P’s father who was on hospice and we stepped out to learn the results. We felt so lucky to be able to share this little bit of light with the family during a really difficult time. Now we say that P’s father passed our children in the hallway on their way into the world and his way to the next.
We are extremely fortunate that both of our FETs led to our beautiful daughters, one in 2021 and one in 2023. Unfortunately, after the birth of our second daughter A suffered a 6L postpartum hemmorrhagedue to an undiagnosed placenta increta, ultimately leading to an emergency hysterectomy to save her life. A’s pregnancy with our second had been completed uncomplicated and joyful, we talked often about giving our last embryo a shot when the time came, so it was heartbreaking to wake up in the ICU to the news that she could not carry another pregnancy. We are exceptionally lucky that A is alive to raise our children and we have both worked hard to heal from this trauma. As the months and years have passed we have continued to pay the storage fees for our final embryo.
For a long time it didn’t feel right to move forward in either direction. Our focus was on healing and nurturing our little family, learning along the way to be the best possible parents we can be. But as our daughters turn 3 and 5, we’re in awe of what unique incredible individuals they are and we find our minds and hearts pulled back to our final embryo. We’ve reached a place where we feel emotionally and financially solid enough to explore giving this last little one a shot. While it feels both vulnerable and hopeful to open this door, we both feel strongly that partnering with a surrogate through this process would yield a beautiful relationship that will be positive regardless of outcome.
WHAT WE ARE MOST LOOKING FORWARD TO
As with our daughters, our hope for our future child is that they would grow up feeling adored and celebrated for exactly who they are. We hope all our children translate the love they feel from their family into kindness and openness towards others. It is such a privilege to watch our daughters become the people that they are at every stage, we would be so grateful to experience this with our final child. We most look forward to knowing that our family is exactly as it was meant to be and that we’ve given all our embryos a shot at life.
OUR ENVIRONMENT
Our family is steady, loving and quick to laugh. We love being together and are able to find humor and joy in even the most mundane of routines. Our extended family is huge on both sides and is committed to gathering often. Our adult siblings are our best friends and it’s been so wonderful to watch our children become so connected with their cousins. While we don’t live near family, we are so fortunate to be able to visit or have visitors often. In addition to family, we have a strong local community. We have weekly standing dinners with friends and pride ourselves on being an open-door house with friends and neighbors stopping by often.
WHAT ARE WE HOPING FOR IN A MATCH
We hope to have an open and honest relationship with our surrogate throughout the journey. We’re looking for someone who understands our desire to give this embryo a chance, and know that regardless of the outcome we will be extremely grateful for her partnership. We would love to have as much contact as our GC is open to. We plan to tell all our children about surrogacy and the amazing gift of hope that our GC is giving to us.
EXTRA INFORMAITON
Names: P & A
Location: Washington, DC
Number of Embryos: 1 PGT/S embryo
Agency/Management Team: The Biggest Ask
Fertility Clinic: Shady Grove Fertility
Surrogate Compensation: Medium/High
Requirements: They prefer to have termination be up to them.